CIPPTV Channel 116

Local Senior Frustrated By Lack of Funeral Announcements On Local Radio Station Launches Formal Complaint

Lack of funeral announcements frustrate local senior Udo Dirkschneider

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Every morning for 20 years, Udo Dirkschneider brews a cup of coffee, makes some toast and sits at his kitchen table at 8:45 am to listen to the funeral announcements on CIPP 980 AM, but lately he has grown frustrated with the radio station. “Four days in a row for each of the last two [...]

Parents Can Now Only Dream About Having Their Teen’s Lifestyle & Spending Power

Parents can no longer enjoy the same lifestyle and ability to spend as their children

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Forget the Jones’, moms and dads are finding it harder to keep up with the kid’s lifestyles than ever before according to new government stats. 7 out of 10 parents, or 70% of adults with children can no longer afford the lifestyle their kids enjoy. “We found that the [...]

Congregation Stressed As Church Service Runs Late: Band Can’t Find Ending of Song

The Portage Church had members of its congregation experience time related anxiety

Portage la Prairie, MB – Worshippers at The Portage Church experienced hunger pains and time-related anxiety when their Sunday service didn’t end until 12:30pm on Sunday morning. With about five minutes left in the hour-long service, the worship band took the stage for the final number. That would normally be [...]

Portage May Lose Potato Festival As Manitoba Towns Fight Over World’s Sexiest Vegetable

Portage potato festival on the rocks due to protests

Portage la Prairie, MB – Potatoes are sexy and they know it, and it seems everyone wants in on the action. For years, Portage la Prairie has been the home of the Potato Festival but neighbouring communities are mounting a legal challenge to change that. The battle for the tuber has never been greater as [...]

Man Grows Sympathy Belly During Wife’s Pregnancy

Husband grows his belly to support his wife during pregnancy

Portage la Prairie, MB – A local, devoted husband is giving up his slender, fit physique for the sake of his pregnant wife. Todd Saunders, 33, is taking empathy to a whole new level as he is allowing his body to change along with his wife who is 6 months pregnant with the couples first child. “We call it my [...]

Man Finishes Reading The Entire Internet On Company Time In Just 8 Years

Portage man wastes time at work by reading the entire internet

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Jordan Miller started by just checking his Facebook and Twitter accounts during coffee and lunch breaks but after scaling up the amount of time he wasted time online, he has finally achieved his goal. Miller has finished reading the entire internet and is now at a crossroads. “I [...]

Study Reveals Why Kids Throw Tantrums & Leads To Demands For Government Help To Meet Children’s Every Whim

Study reveals why kids have tantrums. Parents need more help.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Experts discovered the reason why a growing number of small children throw temper tantrums, have hissy fits and meltdowns, especially in public. The shocking new study reveals the wild, annoying and loud behaviour works on most adults. “Over the last twenty years we have seen an increase [...]

Taking A Knee During Anthems Could Help End Osgood-Schlatter Disease

Osgood-Schlatter survivors get help with two new initiatives, Run for the Cure and Take A Knee campaign.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – It is a disease that strikes mostly young men in their athletic prime and if mayoral candidate, Ryan Coke, is elected it will be eliminated. “Osgood-Schlatter is a terrible disease that has shattered many young Portage athlete’s dreams,” Ryan Coke said at a glitzy press conference at [...]

Will Arnett Gets Lost Driving “150 Clicks” From Winnipeg To Portage la Prairie – Located 3 Days Later In Carberry

Will Arnett gets lost trying to get from Winnipeg to Portage driving 150kms

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Just days after releasing a video on Vanity Fair on Canadian slang, Will Arnett attempted to drive the “150 clicks” from Winnipeg to Portage la Prairie he mentioned in the video to visit relatives. Family reported the Toronto born star missing the following day when he failed to show up [...]

Manitoba City Makes It Illegal To Kill Mosquitoes & Puts Them On Threatened Species List

Portage la Prairie, MB – It will soon be illegal to kill mosquitoes in Portage la Prairie after researchers discovered Portagers’ blood is causing record low numbers of he insect. Concerned locals created their own theories over why Portage’s favorite songbird has virtually disappeared but the real reason [...]