War Brewing on Border Between KoKo Platz & Mellenville
Residents of Koko Platz and Mellenville are staging to battle over important Portage la Prairie turf.
Portage la Prairie, MB – News of impending KoKo Platz separation has Mellenville residents up in arms with battle lines drawn along Garrioch Creek.
“How are going to get downtown now? Drive all the way to the west end of town?” said Mellenvillian Herb Blocker. Both Mellenville and KoKo Platz residents are living in fear as the reality of separation washes across the South Side of Portage.
“I’m afraid. Really, really afraid,” said Gloria Rarebell while putting up Christmas lights.
“Bring back Mayor Tommy Shanks,” shouted a group of Mellenville youth rolling down Caledonia in a black sedan. The youth and a group of hostile senior citizens are thought to be responsible for the setting of bush and garbage can fires on both sides of the border between the two suburbs.
City Hall is said to be frantically working on a plan to relocate Mellenvillian and KoKo Platzian refugees to a new enclave in the North End but efforts are being slowed due to the fact very few of them even know where the North End is. Unconfirmed sources have also indicated most of City Council plan on resigning to join the new City of KoKo Platz.
Koko Platz resident were heard to be yelling (or singing) “You gotta fight for your right to parteeeey” (Photo not related and totally doctored)
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