PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – The ever famous and wildly popular celebration of the world’s sexiest vegetable takes a creative new turn this year.
What used to be a multi-day social celebration of all things potato on the state-of-the-art grounds of Portage Potato Park will transform into an intimate festival taking place in every Portage la Prairie home.
This year’s Couch Potato Fest can be completely experienced from the comfort of your own sofa.
The festival kicks off Saturday morning with a sexy potato contest via Zoom and Facebook Live where Portagers put their sensual spuds on display to see who wins the $10.00 grand prize and the title of world’s sexiest potato.
Throughout the day free fries will be delivered to each household via Uber Eats and Skip the Dishes and at noon the greatest potato dish cook off starts. Portagers will Facetime while creating their favourite potato dish in a competition to see who gets the most votes.
At 3pm the Couch Potato YouTube concert begins with numerous local artist performing live from their living rooms until 10pm Saturday night. Just go to the Couch Potato Festival YouTube channel and follow the links.
The Couch Potato Festival Channel will also have numerous documentaries about potato farming and French fry production guaranteed to keep you in your seat.
Here is a breakdown of this year’s new events:
Remote Control Carnival – a delightful demo of trick moves with the remote control.
Nap time – no explanation required.
Snack Time – featuring a variety of flavoured potato chips.
TV Dinner – complete with mashed potatoes and gravy.
Potato Portage Contest – Portagers must see how many potatoes they can transport in 5 minutes using only their fat asses.
Poutine Pandemonium – a roundup of the areas best poutine’s via ZOOM.
Shepherds Pie Showdown– a virtual pie eating contest.
Potato Look Alike Contest – which Portager looks most similar to a potato and who has the sexuality of a spud.
Potato Wars – opposite sides of the street throw potatos at each other until one-side submits.
Notice to readers – click here to read the full disclaimer and disclosure. This story and website are fictional in nature and have no foundation in reality. The creators of this website also have little foundation in reality. Fantasy, imaginary are other terms you could use to describe this story and website. If you try and tune in channel 116 on UHF you won’t find CIPP-TV. Although, if you stare into the noise of an empty channel long enough and chant CIPP-TV Channel 116 repeatedly you will start to see what you will believe is a fictional television station based in Portage la Prairie run by infantile imbeciles. God save the queen and all of us.