PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – 

Since moving to Portage la Prairie to work at CIPP-TV, Oliver Sutton has endured a lot, but his assignment on New Years Eve involved going above and beyond the call of a TV morning show host.  In frigid temperatures, Sutton, host of PP In The Morning, had to think quickly in order to save a co-worker from the effects of frostbite.

“BJ (Harrisburg) and I were at a New Years Eve celebration here in town (Portage la Prairie) when we found ourselves unable to get a ride or cab,” Oliver Sutton said.  “We were on the island (Island Park) and stood outside for half an hour in the freezing cold before we decided to hike across the lake (Crescent Lake) to get home.”

The walk was less than thirty minutes, but both Sutton and Harrisburg were wearing stylish dress shoes not designed to rebuff minus twenty-eight degree Celsius weather.  With only a light coat and thin, snazzy, dress pants the pair experienced mild hypothermia on the way home.  Because of an earlier decision not to wear socks, Harrisburg’s feet were practically frozen by the time they reached home.

“BJ was pretty loaded but the walk kind of sobered him up,” Sutton explained.  “When we got in the house he was pretty much crying from the pain in his feet.”

Panic sunk in and Sutton was not sure if he should call 911 when his co-worker started screaming something.

“For whatever reason I remembered a bit from Doug and Bob McKenzie when they talked about Ernie’s mom sucking his toes,” Harrisburg, host of PP After Dark, said.  “I knew that’s what Oliver had to do.”

Thankfully, Sutton was still intoxicated, and open to Harrisburg’s strange request.

“He was screaming so loud from the pain I just pulled off his shoes and went to it,” Sutton said.  “Once his toes were in my mouth he stopped screaming.  I kept alternating feet and he slowly calmed down.”

Harrisburg credits his morning show host friend for saving his toes.

“I still ended up having some white spots on my toes but Oliver really saved the day – and my toes,” Harrisburg said.

Medical experts confirm that Sutton’s quick reaction, inhibition and disregard for his own dignity likely saved Harrisburg from medical intervention, including the possibility of amputation.

Good friends prior to the event, the pair are even closer now, but Harrisburg was unsure if he would return the favour.

“I don’t think I could suck Oliver’s toes,” Harrisburg admitted.  “I’d have to be extremely drunk for there to even be a chance.”

Sutton is not offended by his friend’s honesty on returning the sucking favour.

“I couldn’t have done it if I wasn’t drunk and panicked.  I was very thankful he didn’t have any toe-jam when I put them in my mouth or I might have gagged.”

“I can’t look at Oliver the same way any more,” Harrisburg shared.  “After what he did for me, the sacrifice he made, I think we’ll always be close.

Sutton has noticed Harrisburg holding his glance a little longer than he used to and going barefoot more often.

“I definitely feel safer when Oliver is around,” Harrisburg said.  “I can’t watch him eat the same way anymore though.”

The other CIPP-TV employees are generally grossed out by the story and clear out of the lunchroom if Harrisburg and Sutton are there staring at each other.  Several staff have filed formal complaints over Harrisburg’s refusal to cover his feet in the newsroom.  The Union of Mediocre Television Workers in Small Markets(UMTWS) is investigating and offering counselling to all those affected.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the advanced and more developed disclaimer full of legal language and warnings.  While frostbite and Portage la Prairie are real, CIPP-TV, the individuals mentioned, the story and website are fictional and humorous.  Portage la Prairie can be humorous as well but this website shares no responsibility in that.  All this to say, this story is not real it is made up.  We do not know why we have to keep explaining this to people.

Photo Credit – Headline Photo – Travis Rigel Lukas Hornrung

Photo Credit – Story Photo – Matthew Oliphant