ryan coke

Portage Makes History Electing First Imaginary Candidate, Ryan Coke, As Mayor

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE – Portage is getting drunk on Ryan Coke and celebrating its first imaginary Mayor. The City of Portage la Prairie becomes the first municipality in Canada to elect a fictional character as mayor. After leveraging his substantial fictional media empire, including Portage’s imaginary and [...]

Local Senior Frustrated By Lack of Funeral Announcements On Local Radio Station Launches Formal Complaint

Lack of funeral announcements frustrate local senior Udo Dirkschneider

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Every morning for 20 years, Udo Dirkschneider brews a cup of coffee, makes some toast and sits at his kitchen table at 8:45 am to listen to the funeral announcements on CIPP 980 AM, but lately he has grown frustrated with the radio station. “Four days in a row for each of the last two [...]

Taking A Knee During Anthems Could Help End Osgood-Schlatter Disease

Osgood-Schlatter survivors get help with two new initiatives, Run for the Cure and Take A Knee campaign.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – It is a disease that strikes mostly young men in their athletic prime and if mayoral candidate, Ryan Coke, is elected it will be eliminated. “Osgood-Schlatter is a terrible disease that has shattered many young Portage athlete’s dreams,” Ryan Coke said at a glitzy press conference at [...]

Man Decides To Run For Mayor Based On Number Of Facebook Friends & Marginal Ideas

Ryan Coke wants to be the next Mayor of Portage la Prairie by ending homeliness

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – The only thing that can help Portage look better is Ryan Coke. Media Mogul, trust fund kid and now political juggernaut, Ryan Coke has announced he is entering the race to become Portage la Prairie’s next top mayor. “I’m running on a platform that “Portage Needs Coke” because I [...]

Mayoral Candidate Proposes Tunnel Under Crescent Lake To Replace Planned Causeway

Billy Neepawa wants to be mayor and dig a tunnel under Crescent Lake

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – A long-suffering Portager is throwing his hat in the ring to become Portage la Prairie’s next mayor and tossing out some great new ideas. “After consulting with my mom and my cats, I have decided to become a candidate for mayor in the next municipal election,” Billy Neepawa announced [...]

Homeliness In Portage la Prairie To Be Eliminated By Local TV Station Initiative

Homely people are excited about new program to end homeliness in Portage la Prairie

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – CIPP – TV is looking to change the face of Portage la Prairie for the better. The local TV station announced the launch of a new initiative to end homeliness once and for all in the Manitoba city. “The message we’re sending out is we want to make Portage la Prairie beautiful [...]

Producers of Suits Announce Spinoff Called “Safety Vests” Starring Meghan Markle

Producers of TV hit series Suits create spinoff series based on construction workers called Safety Vests starring Meghan Markle

HOLLYWOOD, CA & PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Producers of the hit TV drama suits announced they are collaborating with C.I.P.P. –TV to create a new drama series based on the people who wear orange, high-visibility safety clothing “Safety Vests” will tell the stories of intrigue and excitement from the [...]

C.I.P.P.-TV Wins National Award For Pandering News Coverage Of Local Non-Accomplishments

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Popular local TV station C.I.P.P. was winner of a prestigious national award from the CRTC for excellence in news and information gathering. The annual For The People Award was presented to station owner and general pain in the ass Ryan Coke last night at a gala in Ottawa. “It’s an [...]

Forrest Gump II “Run Forrest Run” Starring Canadian Country Superstar Dallas Smith Starts Production

Forrest Gump 2 - Run Forrest Run starring Dallas Smith

Hollywood, CA & Portage la Prairie, MB – His friends and family said “Run Forrest Run” so he did, but this time he’s running for President of the U.S.A. It has been 23 years since we first heard “stupid is as stupid does” but CIPP-TV has collaborated with a major Hollywood studio to bring back our [...]

Local News Reporter Gets Fired For Asking Too Many Questions

MBN News reporter fired for too many questions

Portage la Prairie, MB – CIPP-TV reporter Kendra Pashe is getting the boot for running her mouth and asking too many questions. Portage’s local imaginary television station is going through another shakeup over editorial direction. After the sudden severance of News Director Pat Hiscock for her left-leaning [...]

CIPPTV Channel 116

Portage la Prairie's Fictional Satire Station