portage

Florida Georgia Line & Nickelback Announce Concert To Prove They Aren’t The Same Band

Florida Georgia Line and Nickelback try and prove they are not the same band

Portage la Prairie, MB – The Glesby Centre in Portage la Prairie will host the myth busting concert of the century as country superstars, Florida Georgia Line and rock sensations, Nickelback set the record straight. Despite being mega-stars in different genres, the bands have been dogged by rumours and [...]

Portage la Prairie Must Chop Down Trees To Keep Its Name

Portage la Prairie, MB – The axe is about to fall on a big decision at City Hall. The City of Portage la Prairie must choose between chopping down trees or having to drop the reference to “prairie” in its name. The Canadian Council For The Enforcement Of Accurate Place Names, a fresh initiative of the [...]

Town Replaces Halloween With “Fall Celebration Of Political Correctness & Health”

Portage becomes a leader in political correctness by banning Halloween

Portage la Prairie, MB – A progressive prairie town in the middle of Canada is becoming a world leader in social advancement and political correctness by not just banning Halloween, but replacing it altogether. Portage la Prairie is ridding itself of the plague of costume cultural appropriation, youth [...]

Local Senior Frustrated By Lack of Funeral Announcements On Local Radio Station Launches Formal Complaint

Lack of funeral announcements frustrate local senior Udo Dirkschneider

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Every morning for 20 years, Udo Dirkschneider brews a cup of coffee, makes some toast and sits at his kitchen table at 8:45 am to listen to the funeral announcements on CIPP 980 AM, but lately he has grown frustrated with the radio station. “Four days in a row for each of the last two [...]

Parents Can Now Only Dream About Having Their Teen’s Lifestyle & Spending Power

Parents can no longer enjoy the same lifestyle and ability to spend as their children

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Forget the Jones’, moms and dads are finding it harder to keep up with the kid’s lifestyles than ever before according to new government stats. 7 out of 10 parents, or 70% of adults with children can no longer afford the lifestyle their kids enjoy. “We found that the [...]

Man Grows Sympathy Belly During Wife’s Pregnancy

Husband grows his belly to support his wife during pregnancy

Portage la Prairie, MB – A local, devoted husband is giving up his slender, fit physique for the sake of his pregnant wife. Todd Saunders, 33, is taking empathy to a whole new level as he is allowing his body to change along with his wife who is 6 months pregnant with the couples first child. “We call it my [...]

Taking A Knee During Anthems Could Help End Osgood-Schlatter Disease

Osgood-Schlatter survivors get help with two new initiatives, Run for the Cure and Take A Knee campaign.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – It is a disease that strikes mostly young men in their athletic prime and if mayoral candidate, Ryan Coke, is elected it will be eliminated. “Osgood-Schlatter is a terrible disease that has shattered many young Portage athlete’s dreams,” Ryan Coke said at a glitzy press conference at [...]

Portage Bank First In Canada To Pay Those In Debt & Charge People For Saving

First Canadian bank to pay those in debt and punish savers by charging them.

Portage la Prairie, MB – A new financial institution is setting up shop promising to reward people who owe money and charge those with money in the bank. The newly formed, Financial Union of Portage will launch later this month with plans to be a market leader in Canada by brining consumers negative interest [...]

Digital Trauma Leading Cause Of Nose Bleeds In Teens and Millennials Says Health Study

Digital trauma while using cell phones and electronic devices can cause sever nosebleeds

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Emergency rooms and doctors are experiencing a spike in the number of nosebleed cases caused by cell phone use combined with digital trauma. A recent health study found that excessive scrolling on social media causes teens and millennials to probe orifices mindlessly, primarily the nose, [...]

Pastor Fired for Being Too Much Like Jesus

Portage la Prairie church fires pastor for being too much like Jesus

Portage la Prairie, MB – After attending an all-night wedding party then preaching a sermon on the beach, a local pastor has been fired and his church closed for good. “This wasn’t the first incident. He had been warned many times, “ Barry Dumas, Regional Director of The Domination, said. “We’ve been [...]