Patrik Laine's mom part of trending movement of mothers driving adult children around

Stats Show Patrik Laine’s Mom Part Of Growing Trend Of Mothers Driving Adult Children Around

WINNIPEG, MB –

In the wake of Patrik Laine’s ground breaking interview in The Players’ Tribune, and the revelation that his mother drives him to and from his hockey games, new stats show a growing trend of mothers chauffeuring their adult children.

The new report shows 48% of adult males 18-24 have their mothers drive them at least 5 times a week, with 38% reporting their mom drives them at least once a day.  This is up from 23% and 12% respectively just 12 years ago.

“We are seeing a growing trend in mothers driving their sons,” Study lead Samantha Dawkins said.  “We think it is directly linked to hockey.”

Researchers believe that thousands of hockey players are becoming acclimatized to their mothers driving them around and begin to enjoy the free time, opting to watch videos or play games on phones and handheld electronics.  The urge to play games and use smart phone aps has surpassed the appeal of driving oneself and gaining independence.

“The electronic gratification is stripping the desire to drive away from our young men, and to a lesser extent, our young women,” Dawkins said.  “Patrik Laine and his mom have become the poster people for this movement.”

Indications are the numbers will continue to go up as more young men jump aboard the trend wanting to emulate their NHL heroes.

*Patrik Laine’s Cousin Explains Reason Behind Mennonite Beard

“We are seeing moms drive their sons to work, university and to social functions on a regular basis,” Dawkins pointed out.  “Many are opting out of getting a license or vehicle saving themselves thousands of dollars a year that they can spend on gaming systems and data plans.”

Most mothers we spoke to love the additional and prolonged control and care they can exercise on their children.

“I love that Tyrel gets me to drive him to his junior hockey games,” Michele Gaudry said.  “I make him his favorite pre-game meal, chicken fingers with macaroni and cheese then take him to the game.  I have to wait around about an hour after the game to take him home but I don’t mind.  It gives me a chance to visit with the other mom’s.”

“Kevin gets me to drive him to work everyday,” Cheryl Friesen said.  “He has a sales job so sometimes I get to drive him to appointments all day.  When he stays in the office I make sure I make a lunch for him and send it along.  He still likes eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches.”  Kevin Friesen is a 25 year-old pharmaceutical rep and no longer has a license after letting it lapse a couple of years ago to fund his online gaming interests.

Some social scientists believe the trend will push marrying ages up and marriage rates down as mothers extend their care years and possibly decades into their children’s lives.

“We are seeing many more family situations where mothers are living with adult children, even those who are married,” Dawkins said.  “Children are putting a lot of value on, not just their mom’s ability to complete domestic work like cooking and cleaning, but their skills in financial management and life-coaching.”

Young adults and increasing numbers of middle-aged people are more than happy to have their mothers look after the details of their lives so they can be free to concentrate on careers and more importantly video games and smart phone aps.

“Without mom living with me and driving me to work there is no way I’d be able to meet my sales targets and log up to 80 hours a week on my Playstation,” Kevin Friessen shared.  “Mom is helping me reach the goals and dreams I have personally and professionally.  I couldn’t do this without her.”

 

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the full-on disclaimer, explanation and supporting legal statements about the satirical reality of this story and website.  Satire means this is not real, it is fiction that is attempting to make fun of something and make some kind of sideways comment on society and culture.  This is not fake news.  Fake news is designed to trick and fool. This fictional TV station is designed to entertain and make you snicker.  Fake news is also a term misused often by Donald Trump to deflect fair comment, reporting and criticism of his reign on the United States of America.

Photo Credit -Rex Roof

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Portage woman ready to become aunty

Woman “Felt It Was Time” To Become A Stay-At-Home Aunt

Portage la Prairie, MB –

Sylvia Peters’ biological clock is ticking and she is getting her sister to do something about it.

The 33 year-old single woman announced at a recent family get together she was now ready take on the roll of auntie.

“I’ve wavered back and forth for quite a while but I think now is a good time to do it,” Peters said.  “I’m in a good head space and my new job is what I was hoping for.  I’m ready to be an aunt.”

The pressure is now on Peters’ sister Amelda and her sister-in-law Trixie to have children.

“They’ve both been married for quite a while now.  I’d like to be buying my niece a Christmas gift by next year,” Peters shared.  “I’d settle for a nephew too but I’m not planning on doing ‘boy’ things.  I’d like a niece I can take shopping and share a latte with.”

Peters’ family is excited she is eager to take this big step in her life.

“Sylvie, is our favourite,” Sylvia’s mother Carol Peters said.  “She’s the oldest and we were all just waiting for her to decide when she was ready.  I’d love some grandkids around.”

Amelda Perkins and Trixie Peters went off all forms of birth control as of Sylvia’s announcement and hope to comply with the order to replicate soon.

“I’m so happy I get to be a part of it,” Perkins said.  “I’m excited for her.  For the longest time we thought she never wanted to be an auntie.”

“She is making a big commitment,” Trixie offered.  “I hope people respect her choice and all the work she is putting into this.  Not everyone wants to be an aunt anymore.  I hope to be an aunt someday as well.”

Once the first niece or nephew arrives Peters plans on becoming a stay-at-home aunt for at least the first year.

“I’ll take the first year off and see how it goes,” Peters said.  “Maybe I’ll go back part-time after that and full-time when the kids go into school.”

We will update this story as information is available.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read more about the fictional, satirical and occasionally humorous nature of this website and story.  That means it is not real.

Photo: Rochelle Hartman

Woman Sells Food & Household Items To Take Baby Girl To Portage Fair Now Needs Donations To Replace Them

Portage la Prairie, MB –

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  That is exactly what Sherry Hiebert thought when this year’s Portage Fair came to town.

The single mother felt the social and cultural pressure to take her five-year-old daughter to the fair to enjoy the rides and tastes of the exhibition.  Her problem was she had no available cash to get her into the fair and no one she could ask for help.

“I didn’t have any family in town who could borrow me the money,” Hiebert said.  “All my friends and there kids were going and I didn’t want my baby girl to miss out.”

Hiebert advertised various household items online like her child’s bed, toys and bicycle and sold them along with most of her food.  Her efforts generated about $150 in cash, enough to cover gate admission, ride tickets and fair food for the family to two.

Both mom and daughter report having a great time at the fair on Saturday and were excited to end the night off with an invitation to a house party.  Although Hiebert didn’t wake up with a hangover, she did wake up to the fact she had nothing left in her house and no food to eat on Sunday morning.

Friends quickly came to her aid.  “I told Sherry I love her but I don’t have any money to borrow her right now,” neighbour Kari Smithson said.  “I don’t got any extra food either but we got my cousin Angela to go online and set up a  Go Fund Me page for her.  Then I called the media to get the word out.”

The fundraising campaign is just underway but Smithson reminds people her friend needs immediate help.  “She’s all out of everything.  The fair is over and now she’s gotta pay with no money.  People need to get off their buts and bring her some food and money now.”

Only a few hours in, the online plea has generated over $280 in support, a good start to the $10,000 goal.

“Everyone should have the chance to take their baby girl to the fair once a year,” Smithson said.  “It’s her right as a mother.  We have to realize and support her in that.  I don’t have the money right now but I know there are a lot of rich buggers in Portage who didn’t even go to the fair who could help.”

If you can help or would like to make a donation to the “Go Fund Sherry’s Trip With Her Baby Girl To The Fair” check out the Facebook page or drop off cash at Smithson’s house.  She promises to give all the money she receives to Sherry.

Notice to readers/disclaimer about the satirical and fictional nature of this story and website.

Photo: Evan – https://www.flickr.com/photos/kingdomlight/