mayor

Portage Makes History Electing First Imaginary Candidate, Ryan Coke, As Mayor

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE – Portage is getting drunk on Ryan Coke and celebrating its first imaginary Mayor. The City of Portage la Prairie becomes the first municipality in Canada to elect a fictional character as mayor. After leveraging his substantial fictional media empire, including Portage’s imaginary and [...]

Taking A Knee During Anthems Could Help End Osgood-Schlatter Disease

Osgood-Schlatter survivors get help with two new initiatives, Run for the Cure and Take A Knee campaign.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – It is a disease that strikes mostly young men in their athletic prime and if mayoral candidate, Ryan Coke, is elected it will be eliminated. “Osgood-Schlatter is a terrible disease that has shattered many young Portage athlete’s dreams,” Ryan Coke said at a glitzy press conference at [...]

Man Decides To Run For Mayor Based On Number Of Facebook Friends & Marginal Ideas

Ryan Coke wants to be the next Mayor of Portage la Prairie by ending homeliness

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – The only thing that can help Portage look better is Ryan Coke. Media Mogul, trust fund kid and now political juggernaut, Ryan Coke has announced he is entering the race to become Portage la Prairie’s next top mayor. “I’m running on a platform that “Portage Needs Coke” because I [...]

Mayoral Candidate Billy Neepawa Says “The Time Is Meow” For Off-Leash Cat Park

Billy Neepawa advocates for an off leash cat park for Portage la Prairie

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Portagers could soon be singing, “who let the cats out?” if mayoral candidate Billy Neepawa is elected. Neepawa made another major announcement to add to his already substantial platform, with a plan for an off-leash park for cats. “It is time for cats and their human friends to gain [...]

Mayoral Candidate Proposes Tunnel Under Crescent Lake To Replace Planned Causeway

Billy Neepawa wants to be mayor and dig a tunnel under Crescent Lake

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – A long-suffering Portager is throwing his hat in the ring to become Portage la Prairie’s next mayor and tossing out some great new ideas. “After consulting with my mom and my cats, I have decided to become a candidate for mayor in the next municipal election,” Billy Neepawa announced [...]