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Locals To Turn Colorado Low Into A High

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – A major winter storm is headed our way and a local cat owner and pot enthusiast has a plan to make it all go away.  Or at least it will feel that way. Billy Neepawa is organizing a Colorado High event for this Monday to celebrate the upcoming legalization of marijuana and to raise funds [...]

Canadian Government Sets Up Ministry of Tickling, Touching & Fondling

OTTAWA, ON – Canada’s government unanimously approved the creation of a new Federal Ministry of Tickling, Touching and Fondling in an effort to find a positive solution to ongoing revelations of inappropriate and unwanted sexual comments and actions. The new government department hopes to turn a negative into a [...]

Patrik Laine’s Cousin Explains Reason Behind Mennonite Beard

TAMPERE, FINLAND – Patrik Laine’s cousin Kimmo Laine has finally provided a rationale to Patrik’s bearded face that has perplexed Winnipeg Jets hockey fans. It turns out Laine’s connection to Manitoba goes much deeper than being drafted second overall in 2016 by the Winnipeg Jets. According to [...]