kids

Town Replaces Halloween With “Fall Celebration Of Political Correctness & Health”

Portage becomes a leader in political correctness by banning Halloween

Portage la Prairie, MB – A progressive prairie town in the middle of Canada is becoming a world leader in social advancement and political correctness by not just banning Halloween, but replacing it altogether. Portage la Prairie is ridding itself of the plague of costume cultural appropriation, youth [...]

Study Reveals Why Kids Throw Tantrums & Leads To Demands For Government Help To Meet Children’s Every Whim

Study reveals why kids have tantrums. Parents need more help.

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Experts discovered the reason why a growing number of small children throw temper tantrums, have hissy fits and meltdowns, especially in public. The shocking new study reveals the wild, annoying and loud behaviour works on most adults. “Over the last twenty years we have seen an increase [...]

Mom Admits Single-Parent Son Is More Marketable Than Single-Mom Daughter

Mom admits single-moms not as attractive to dating partners as single-dads

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – A holiday gathering for a local Portage la Prairie family brought a glaring double-standard to a head when Hilda Nowicki came out of the closet about her attempts to find partners for both of her single-parent children. “Andrew is just amazing with the kids,” Nowicki said. [...]

Portage Company To Bus Kids To Other Communities – No Halloween In Portage Next Year

Bus kids out of Portage la Prairie for Halloween

Portage la Prairie, MB- A new bus tour operator is looking to cash in on a growing trend and change how Portage does Halloween. The Great Canadian Halloween Pumpkin Tour Company is already half sold out for next year and hoping to haul all Portage treat seekers to communities around Portage rather than canvassing our [...]

City Bans Hockey & Most Sports To Protect Kids From Concussions

Portage la Prairie, MB – One small Canadian city is taking a big stand to protect its children from catastrophic brain injuries by replacing hockey with yoga. Starting with hockey, Portage la Prairie is passing laws to have all contact sports, and all sports where accidental contact could occur, banned for those [...]