Junior B team tries to run goalie after getting down by 9

Junior B Hockey Team Tries To Win Game By Running Opposition Goalie When Down By 9 

ST. CLAUDE, MB –

The St. Claude Voyageurs of the Manitoba Junior B Hockey League sent a strong and clear message last night in a game they lost 11-1 to the Roland Pumpkin Express.  With only three minutes left in the second period Pumpkin Express forward and captain Gord Klassen rifled a shot past St. Claude goalie Mark Toth to put Roland up 9-0.  Following the ensuing faceoff Voyageur right-winger Josh Wexford took the puck hard to the net, intentionally knocking Roland goalie Peter Schroeder to the ice while sending the net flying.

“I wanted to get my team fired up, get them going, get us back in the game,” Josh Wexford told C.I.P.P. TV’s “Get The Puck Out” after the game.  “We needed a spark so I did what I could.”

Wexford found himself on the losing end of a fight and saddled with a 3 game suspension.

“Wexy was a real team player,” Voyageur Head Coach Brian Hannah said.  “We got down 9-0 and needed to try to get us back in the game.”

Voyageur coaches and players were unable to explain how hitting a vulnerable goalie would help them get back in a game they had no chance to win, leading many to speculate the move was just one of spite and revenge.

“Sure we had fewer shots than they did goals by that point but I like Wexy’s heart and thirst to win.  He has great compete,” Hannah said.  “The only thing we were trying to get even was the score.”

The controversial move did result in St. Claude breaking Schroeder’s shutout bid with Jacques Brouseau scoring on a breakaway late in the third period when Roland was no longer even trying and playing mostly third and forth line players.

“I think we really showed the hometown fans and the league what we’re all about,” Hannah said.  “It’s doesn’t matter if it’s 1-0 or 9-0 we’ll capable of doing whatever it takes to win.”

With only 2 wins so far this season St. Claude has certainly shown they regularly don’t show up to play until the score is out of hand and they have no chance to win.  A point coach Hannah disagrees with.

“You never know.  That could have been the spark to help us score ten goals in under 25 minutes of hockey,” Hannah pointed out.  A task they haven’t been able to accomplish in over three seasons having only scored a maximum of 4 goals in any one game in that time.

St. Claude has tried running the opposition players from behind, sucker punching, squirting Gatorade at the refs and delivering vicious two-handers over opposing player’s heads all in hopes of coming back from being down by large amounts.

“We are really trying to work with these young men and install in them the type of character it takes to win in hockey,” Hannah said.  “This isn’t kiddie play time, this is Junior B hockey and our players know what’s on the line.”

Rarely, if ever, do Junior B players older than 17 ever make to professional levels of hockey so at best, the majority of St. Claude’s players will go on to play Senior hockey and recreational beer leagues.

“Part of our recruiting pitch is that we have a long list of players who have gone on to a few senior leagues around the province and many more who have become stars on their late-night beer league teams,” Hannah explained.  “Our boys really get the drinking beer thing down during their time with us.”

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the full disclaimer and explanation about the fictional and satirical nature of this story and website.  You really shouldn’t need an explanation to realize this story is fictional.  Fictional means made up in case you were about to google the word fictional.  But by all means read the disclaimer and then read the additional legal information if you are confused at all.  We created these links because scientist have failed to find a cure for stupid.  Until they do we are forced to treat the symptoms with explanations like this.  Ya.

Photo Credit – Mark Mauno

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Senior Hockey Star for Oakville Seals gets try out with Winnipeg Jets

Local Senior Hockey Star Gets NHL Shot With Injury To Winnipeg Jets’ Scheifele

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –

Rinks around Southern Manitoba are buzzing over the prospect of a star player from our own backyard getting a shot at the NHL.

When the Winnipeg Jets lost one of their top players to injury, Tyler Murray was poised to make the most the opportunity.

“I’ve been dedicated to getting better and refining my game just in case something like this would happen,” Murray explained.  “Even though I was never drafted I felt if I worked hard I could be one of those late bloomers who make it.”  Murray was passed over in the bantam draft for the WHL and MJHL and never heard his name called in either of his NHL draft years.

A star in Portage Minor Hockey, regional AAA teams, high school, the Keystone Junior B Hockey League, Manitoba Junior Hockey League and Manitoba Major Junior Hockey League, Murray has increased his offensive output and learned to be a two hundred foot player while playing for several Senior A teams over the last four years.

“Right now I’m averaging about 1.4 goals per game and I’m like a plus 20 or something,” Murray said of his current season with the Oakville Seals of the Central Senior Hockey League.  “I feel I’m playing my best hockey right now.”

Coaches and team mates agree Murray is ready to make the jump from Senior hockey to the NHL.

“We have lots of guys in our league who have been junior stars and a few who have played pro and right now Murr is the best player in the league and the biggest pain in the ass,” Player/Coach Robert Morse said.  “During the last NHL lock out we had a couple of NHLers play with us and Murray is just as good as them and he doesn’t stop telling us.”

While Murray has not yet signed a professional try out contract with the Jets, he is confident he’ll get a look to replace the Jet’s injured top centre.

The Winnipeg Jets confirmed they have not been in talks with Murray about a try out or contract but Murray isn’t worried as he hopes to get something done with the club over the next couple days.

“They practise out of the Ice-Plex in Headingley so I’ve booked ice right before their next practice,” Murray shared.  “Once they see what I can do I’ll likely just stick around for their practice and go from there.”

“Right now I’m a UFA(unrestricted free agent) so I can demand a lot on the open market,” Murray said.  “I’m pretty sure the Jets will be fair with me.”

The development arc for Murray has been impressive.  In AAA bantam for the Central Plains Capitals he put up a mere 12 points in 37 games, but by the time he made the Portage High School team he put up 27 points in 24 games.  From there he was invited to Junior A camps but opted for the Manitoba Major Junior League’s Pembina Thrashers before being traded to the Stonewall Jets.  Despite being held pointless in his first full season he managed to find a spot with the Neepawa Natives of the Manitoba Junior Hockey League where he put up 25 goals in 50 games.  The following season he split his time between St. Malo of the KJHL and River East of the MMJHL.  A veteran of almost every hockey league in Manitoba, Murray feels the adversity has prepared the 25 year-old for what is next.

“While other guys my age slow down and stop working out, I’ve ramped it up.  I train 12 months a year and I rent my own ice 6 times a week.  That’s why I’m so sick.”

The Oakville Seals will miss their rising star if he makes the big club.

“With him in the line up we’re pretty good,” team-mate Bradley Posner said.  “Most of the guys don’t really give a shit if we win, but Murr is always going a hundred and twenty per cent.  He kind of belongs at a higher level with that type of mindset.  I get tired of listening to him chisel points so the break will be nice.”

“Sure I like to win,” Murray said.  “But in senior hockey, a lot of times it’s the team that is sober who wins so a lot of the time I just go out for points.”

“I put together a little highlight package of my better goals this year and I’ll give that to Chevy(Jets G.M. Kevin Cheveldayoff) and Paul(Jets Head Coach Paul Maurice) after I skate with them but they probably won’t need it.  I’ve been watching their goalies on TV and I’m pretty sure I can exploit them in pracky.”

“I’d love to make the NHL,” Murray shared.  “Not only would it be a dream to play in the best league in the world but it would almost one hundred per cent guarantee I could find a really hot girlfriend.”

CIPP-TV’s “Get The Puck Out” will be following Murray’s progress with the Jets and provide viewers with updates.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the full disclaimer and explanation about the satirical and fictional nature of this story and website.  Fiction and Satire are generally sure-fire signs the story is made up and not real.  You’re smart though and already figured that out.  Good for you but this is for the dumb people out there who think Donald Trump and Facebook are real.

Photo Credit:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/mark6mauno/32445922024/in/album-72157679433615780/