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School Board Policy Brings Back Paddling & Spanking

School board approves new policy to bring back spanking, paddling and the strap to punish students
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WINNIPEG, MB – Starting next year, teachers in the Prairie Vista School Division will get to use the […]

January 27, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Producers of Suits Announce Spinoff Called “Safety Vests” Starring Meghan Markle

Producers of TV hit series Suits create spinoff series based on construction workers called Safety Vests starring Meghan Markle
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HOLLYWOOD, CA & PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Producers of the hit TV drama suits announced they are […]

January 25, 2018 All Posts, Shows

Political Pressure Forces Canadian Music Hall Of Fame Inductees Barenaked Ladies to Change Name

Barenaked Ladies, BNL changing name after Canadian Music Hall of Fame nomination.
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TORONTO, ON –  The iconic Canadian band that you can’t Google at work are in for a big […]

January 24, 2018 All Posts, saturday night videos

Police Seek Help Identifying Man Found In Portage la Prairie Speaking Only One Word: Potato

Who is the mysterious man found in Portage la Prairie who says only one word: potato
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PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Portage police picked up a mysterious man Saturday morning at a local coffee […]

January 23, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Portage Hires Neepawa To Assess & Monitor Terror Threat – Level Set At TANGERINE

City of Portage la Prairie hires Billy Neepawa to keep an eye on terrorism threat to Portage
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – The threat is real and one rural Manitoba municipality is taking measures to […]

January 17, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Woman’s Garlic Cure Is More Effective Than Flu-Shot But Makes Her Smell Worse Than Dead Animal

Woman beats influenza and all illness with garlic cure
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  For the past eighteen years, Ingrid Salisbury has consumed four large cloves of […]

January 16, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Discovery of Bitcoin Deposit In Portage la Prairie Leads To Creation Of First Open-Pit Bitcoin Mine

Bitcoin deposit discovered in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba Open-pit Bitcoin mine to be set up
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  An unprecedented economic boon is about to hit Portage la Prairie with the […]

January 15, 2018 All Posts, can I get a business, MBN Fiction

NHL Bans Fighting For Players, Opens It Up For Hockey Fans

The National Hockey League bans fighting for players and opens it up for fans
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NEW YORK, NY – Exclusive to “Get The Puck Out” In a bold move to modernize the National […]

January 13, 2018 All Posts, get the puck out

Junior B Hockey Team Tries To Win Game By Running Opposition Goalie When Down By 9 

Junior B team tries to run goalie after getting down by 9
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ST. CLAUDE, MB – The St. Claude Voyageurs of the Manitoba Junior B Hockey League sent a strong […]

January 12, 2018 All Posts, get the puck out

Local Fictional TV Station C.I.P.P. Celebrates International Skeptics Day With Doubtful Promotion & Programming Lineup

CIPP -TV Channel 116 plans International Skeptics Day marathon of programs
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  Hit local imaginary TV station C.I.P.P. is celebrating a dubious holiday with a […]

January 11, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction, Promotions, Shows

C.I.P.P.-TV Wins National Award For Pandering News Coverage Of Local Non-Accomplishments

CIPP-TV wins national award for pandering news coverage of local non-accomplishment
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Popular local TV station C.I.P.P. was winner of a prestigious national award from […]

January 10, 2018 All Posts, can I get a business, MBN Fiction, Our Team

Portagers Have Fun With Foul Smell From Waste Water Treatment Facility

Billy Neepawa pretends to have diarrhea to play trick on neighbour
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – As the south wind carries the tantalizing odour of feces from 13,000 Portage […]

January 9, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction, Our Team

TV Morning Show Host Saves Co-Worker From Frostbite By Sucking His Toes

Co-worker saves friends toes from frostbite by sucking on them
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  Since moving to Portage la Prairie to work at CIPP-TV, Oliver Sutton has […]

January 8, 2018 All Posts, Our Team, PP After Dark, pp in the morning

Patrik Laine’s Cousin Explains Reason Behind Mennonite Beard

Patrik Laine's cousin explains Laine's Mennonite beard
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TAMPERE, FINLAND – Patrik Laine’s cousin Kimmo Laine has finally provided a rationale to Patrik’s bearded face that […]

January 4, 2018 All Posts, get the puck out

Assimilation Advocate Convinces Ottawa Immigrants Should Adopt Local Culture – All Canadians To Become Indigenous By 2023

Canadians to assimilate to corresponding First Nation in their area.
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  A local assimilation advocate has successfully lobbied the federal government to ensure all […]

January 3, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Portager Resolves To Eliminate “Fake Hoes” From Her Life In The New Year

New Years Resolution to get rid of all the fake hoes in her life
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  Rachel Paddock is cutting some dead weight and negative energy from life to […]

January 2, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Mom Admits Single-Parent Son Is More Marketable Than Single-Mom Daughter

Mom admits single-moms not as attractive to dating partners as single-dads
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –  A holiday gathering for a local Portage la Prairie family brought a glaring […]

January 1, 2018 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Trudeau Announces Portage MDC To Become Canada’s First Terrorist Rehabilitation Centre

Portage to host Canada's National Terrorist Rehabilitation Centre
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the Federal Government have allocated funding for the […]

December 30, 2017 can I get a business, MBN Fiction, Where Ya Been?

Local Senior Hockey Star Gets NHL Shot With Injury To Winnipeg Jets’ Scheifele

Senior Hockey Star for Oakville Seals gets try out with Winnipeg Jets
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Rinks around Southern Manitoba are buzzing over the prospect of a star player […]

December 29, 2017 All Posts, get the puck out

Portage Flasher Travels In Van & Leaves Packages Exposed On Doorsteps

Portage flasher on the loose exposing packages on doorsteps
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Portagers are reporting a strange phenomenon that began shortly after the online holiday […]

December 13, 2017 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Barely Recognizable Former Junior Hockey Star Resorts To Using “Do You Know Who I Am”

Former MJHL hockey star desperately asks "Do you know who I am?"
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CARMAN, MB – He lit up the Manitoba Junior Hockey League for three years as a Portage Terrier […]

December 11, 2017 All Posts, get the puck out

Google Search Reveals Grandma’s “Secret” Family Recipe A Fraud – Family Devastated

Grandma's recipe turns out to be a copy.
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PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – Grandma Watson was the keeper of several “secret” recipes she claimed had been […]

December 10, 2017 All Posts, MBN Fiction

Local Single Man Seeking Romance Travels To Carman To See Cougars & Beavers

Carman Manitoba hosts singles event featuring cougars and beavers
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CARMAN, MB – Portager Billy Neepawa signed up online for a singles mixer event in Carman Manitoba hoping […]

December 9, 2017 All Posts, get the puck out, Where Ya Been?

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