Hockey

Patrik Laine’s Cousin Blames Slow Start On Beard Loss & Mennonite Shunning

Mennonite shunning affects Patrik Laine's scoring

WINNIPEG – Last year, Winnipeg Jets sniper, Patrik Laine rocked the full Menno beard and filled the net across the NHL but has faced a sluggish start since shaving in the off-season. Laine’s cousin, Kimmo Laine told CIPP – TV in an email statement the loss of Patrik’s beard has caused a riff with his Mennonite [...]

Amish & Mennonite Fans Clog Highways Travelling To Philadelphia To See Patrik Laine

Amish and Mennonite fans go to see Patrik Laine play with the Jets in Philadelphia against the Flyers

LANCASTER, PA – The most popular hockey player among Pennsylvania Dutch, Amish and Mennonite fans from the Lancaster area is playing in Philadelphia and highways are clogged with horse and buggies full of fans slowly making their way to the game. Pennsylvania Highway 30 will be most affected by the increased [...]

Hockey Fan Kicked Out Of Foot Locker For Abusing Referees

Hockey dad gets banned from Foot Locker for abuse of officials

WINNIPEG, MB – A Portage la Prairie hockey dad was planning on picking up a pair of shoes at the mall during a break in a weekend tournament but he left with a misconduct and an ejection. Steve Sapinski, entered the Foot Locker in Polo Park searching for a new pair of running shoes when he found trouble. [...]

Researchers Identify Source Of Smell In Gladstone Rink As 1970’s Urine

University research team discovers source of smell in Gladstone Arena washroom

GLADSTONE, MB – For decades, arena attenders have marvelled at the scent emanating from the cozy urinals in the men’s washroom at the Gladstone rink and they are delighted to know researchers at the University of Manitoba identified the source. “It’s such a familiar smell,” Herb Friesen of Westbourne [...]

Stats Show Patrik Laine’s Mom Part Of Growing Trend Of Mothers Driving Adult Children Around

Patrik Laine's mom part of trending movement of mothers driving adult children around

WINNIPEG, MB – In the wake of Patrik Laine’s ground breaking interview in The Players’ Tribune, and the revelation that his mother drives him to and from his hockey games, new stats show a growing trend of mothers chauffeuring their adult children. The new report shows 48% of adult males 18-24 have their mothers [...]

Curling Surpasses Hockey To Become Whitest Sport In The World

Curling is now officially the whitest sport in the world

WINNIPEG, MB – The Curling Collective of Canada is celebrating a major victory with the announcement their sport has surpassed hockey for the first time to become the whitest sport on the planet. For decades, curling was as white as winter but it finally took the moderate colorization of hockey to allow it to take [...]

Junior B Hockey Team Tries To Win Game By Running Opposition Goalie When Down By 9

Junior B team tries to run goalie after getting down by 9

ST. CLAUDE, MB – The St. Claude Voyageurs of the Manitoba Junior B Hockey League sent a strong and clear message last night in a game they lost 11-1 to the Roland Pumpkin Express. With only three minutes left in the second period Pumpkin Express forward and captain Gord Klassen rifled a shot past St. Claude goalie [...]

Barely Recognizable Former Junior Hockey Star Resorts To Using “Do You Know Who I Am”

Former MJHL hockey star desperately asks "Do you know who I am?"

CARMAN, MB – He lit up the Manitoba Junior Hockey League for three years as a Portage Terrier and Winkler Flyer, putting up records for goals scored and total points but that was over twenty years and seventy pounds ago and Jesse Anderson is finding it harder to find people who remember his glory days. “I [...]

Local Single Man Seeking Romance Travels To Carman To See Cougars & Beavers

Carman Manitoba hosts singles event featuring cougars and beavers

CARMAN, MB – Portager Billy Neepawa signed up online for a singles mixer event in Carman Manitoba hoping to find love but came home alone after watching the goalie get pulled twice in one day. The singles ad promised a “fun, friendly and relaxed atmosphere” for area singles to get together and watch the Carman [...]

Winnipeg Fans’ Yelling, Opinions & Knowledge Help Jets Win

Hockey fans make players better by yelling at them

Winnipeg, MB – It turns out yelling at your favourite team can make them play better. At least, the Winnipeg Jets are admitting comments and advice offered by fans has made a huge difference for them this year. “We don’t like to admit it but all that yelling during games and opinions on call in shows and [...]

CIPPTV Channel 116

Portage la Prairie's Fictional Satire Station