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Portage la Prairie Retroactively Bans Mullets

Portage la Prairie, MB – To improve the moral fibre of its citizens, Portage la Prairie is retroactively banning the hairstyle commonly referred to as the mullet. “We conducted a study and hired an overpriced consultant to tell us what we already suspected.  Those who wore mullets in the 80’s and early 90’s [...]

Woman Horrified After Boss Finishes Her Half-Eaten Bagel During Meeting

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB-  Tamara Wright thought she had seen pretty much every thing from her boss, but when she witnessed him grab her partially eaten bagel and stuff it in his mouth, she was dumfounded. “I’ve seen him do a lot of strange things over the years but this move was off the charts,” Wright said.  [...]

Local Man Proud Of Ability To Call BS On Stories From Satire Sites

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB –  Larry Houle has quite the nose for BS and he is not afraid to tell you about it.  The 45-year-old Portager has gained notoriety in coffee shop circles and on social media for calling out false news. “I don’t like it when people get tricked with all the misinformation out there,” [...]

Underground Dealer Found With Over 500 Souls On Portage Property

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – A secret, underground soul dealer operating in and around Portage la Prairie was found in possession of the spirits of over 500 people during a recent C.I.P.P.-TV Channel 116 investigation. MBN News reported Portager, Aaron MacDonald, sold his soul online to a man known only as [...]

Man Strips While Blowing Snow

Portage la Prairie, MB –  A local man took extreme measures to win a snow blowing competition by stripping down to his boots and shorts. For years, Alvin Cunningham and Gilbert Fast have been trying to out do the other with their snowblowers. “I was the first on the street with a snowblower so I would do the [...]

Woman Becomes Her Best Self But Disappointed With Results

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB –  Inspired by a book store marketing sign in December last year, Liz Thiessen made a New Year’s resolution to become her best self.  She bought the gym membership, workout clothes, self-help books and scheduled bi-weekly counselling sessions. By late February, two months of intense [...]

Hockey Fan Kicked Out Of Foot Locker For Abusing Referees

WINNIPEG, MB –  A Portage la Prairie hockey dad was planning on picking up a pair of shoes at the mall during a break in a weekend tournament but he left with a misconduct and an ejection. Steve Sapinski, entered the Foot Locker in Polo Park searching for a new pair of running shoes when he found trouble. [...]