Study reveals why kids have tantrums. Parents need more help.

Study Reveals Why Kids Throw Tantrums & Leads To Demands For Government Help To Meet Children’s Every Whim


Experts discovered the reason why a growing number of small children throw temper tantrums, have hissy fits and meltdowns, especially in public.  The shocking new study reveals the wild, annoying and loud behaviour works on most adults.

“Over the last twenty years we have seen an increase in reports of tantrum-like behaviors in children seven and under,” lead researcher Perry Percival said.  “We wanted to find out why tantrums and incessant whining was on the rise in North America.”

The study involved over ten thousand families from a wide demographic range and the findings were overwhelming.

“In over eighty-eight percent of the cases of tantrums and whining observed, the child was able to exert their own will or obtain the object of their desire,” Percival shared.  “Bottom line is children are increasingly adapting their behavior to get what they want.”

Tantrums are working leaving adults scrambling to stay ahead of the adaptive behavior.

“We had melt-downs every day after daycare,” study participant Joelle Swanson explained.  “Little Tyson would demand a trip to the store or ice cream shop and when I said no he would start screaming.  If I didn’t give in, he would start flailing in his car seat and throw things at me.  I just didn’t have the energy to fight with him.”

Swanson’s story is typical of what many parents and adults go through on a daily basis.  The demands of life, hunger to acquire more things and the need to earn more money to live an enhanced life-style is putting a strain on parents’ physical, emotional and psychological energy.

“The government needs to have a look at our findings,” Percival offered.  “With the problem being so wide-spread maybe we need to offer support systems to help parents meet the needs of their kids before things escalate into tantrums and hissy-fits.  Perhaps if parents were equipped with more time, money and resources it wouldn’t be such a big issue.”

The majority of the families in the study echo Percival’s call on the government.

“I think it is about time we got some level of help,” study participant Judy Wall said.  “It’s not 1980 anymore we can’t just say no to our kids.  It’s not good for anyone if things build and build so kids have freak-outs to get what they want.”

“Some kind of government program or assistance would be great,” parent Jerry Neudorf added.  “Giving us more money and time could help give us the energy we need to pander to our children’s whims 24/7.”

Percival warns that with such widespread tantrums becoming more the norm the impact on society could become catastrophic if something is not done soon.

“We could soon see an entire generations of people who have grown up whining and carrying-on have kids of their own,” Percival warned.  “This could lead to an exponential increase in the amount and effectiveness of the behaviour.”

The study is valid 19 times out of 20 and has a margin of error of less than 5% but lacks in any substantial merit or credibility.  Portage la Prairie has a higher than normal rate of whiny children with researchers pegging the tantrum rate at 98% in Portage children.

Notice to readers – click here to read the full disclaimer and legal disclosure.  This story and website are fictional and satirical in nature.  That means they are fictional and satirical.  Made up.  Funny.  We know that children are wonderful and not prone to negative behaviour.  We know that adults would never cave to children’s unrealistic demands unless they had a good reason to.  Our mamas didn’t raise no fools.  Wait, maybe they did.  We are stuck inside this imaginary TV station’s website and can’t get out.  Send money if you like.  We’ll likely buy fried chicken and beer with it but we’d appreciate it.  For a while, but after that we’d become increasingly more demanding as the feeling of entitlement overcomes us.  Long live the Empire of Portage la Prairie.  Vote for Billy Neepawa.

Photo Credit – Jared Smith

School board approves new policy to bring back spanking, paddling and the strap to punish students

School Board Policy Brings Back Paddling & Spanking


Starting next year, teachers in the Prairie Vista School Division will get to use the strap, paddle and spanking to discipline students.  The 1960’s throwback style of punishment will come with a 2018 twist administration believes holds the key to solving behavioural problems.  It will be the parents on the receiving end of the corporal punishments not the children.

“Spanking children has been proven to be highly dangerous to their development,” Prairie Vista School Division Board Chair, Elisa Frost said.  “Recent studies have shown us that spanking and hitting adults is far more effective and has much fewer negative consequences.

New evidence shows disciplining parents is a great motivator to get people more active and involved in their children’s education.

“Outside the helicopter parents most people are disengaged from their kids education,” Frost explained.  “We also grow weary of parents always advocating for the student when there is an issue.  This move will take us back to a time when parents were always on our side.”

With the new policy, students will watch their parents be paddled, strapped or spanked for their misdeeds.  Parents will then be expected to take a much more involved role raising their kids to be active, responsible and respectful citizens in order to avoid further punishment.

“What parents do at home to make sure their kids study, complete assignments, show up for school and behave like humans is up to them but they will deal with the consequences if their efforts fall short.  We just want to provide effective and proper motivation for them to step up.”

Frost also points out that most parents were raised by parents who administered corporal punishment and are well adapted to the physical attacks.

“Most of those adults are already permanently scarred.  Hitting them again will take them back to a time they feared and will spur them on to making sure they want to become the best parents possible.”

Teachers in the division are excited about the new policy and look forward to having an outlet for their frustration.

“It’ll be great to get a few smacks in on some of those parents who are a real pain in the ass,” teacher Mary Wall shared.  “I can’t wait to knock some sense back into some of these families.”

While the plan is controversial, the policy was passed unanimously at a recent School Board meeting.  Most parents and citizens pay little to no attention to school board issues so board members are able to pass whatever they want whenever they feel like it.

“It’s great to live outside of the spotlight when we are dealing with progressive new ideas like this,” Frost admitted.

The study, from which the policy was developed, indicates spanking may not be an effective deterrent to parents who enjoy being spanked.  For those adults, a policy advocating public shaming and/or shunning is being created and could be passed before next school year.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the full disclosure and to find long form legal explanations on the fictional and satirical nature of this story and website.  If you can’t be bothered to click and read the full explanation and haven’t clued in that the story is not real then shame on you but please know this story is not real.  We shouldn’t and can not hit kids anymore.  Adults can be struck more easily but not in this context.  Don’t share this story with your friends on social media as evidence of the world being so messed up it will never be fixed.  The world is actually far more advanced today than ever before and those who believe otherwise have limited knowledge of history or grasp on reality.  That last bit was just the opinion of the author of this disclaimer and does not reflect the beliefs of this fictional television station and the silly website you are reading. Thoughts and prayers.

Photo Credit – Jeffery Schwartz