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Canadian Government Sets Up Ministry of Tickling, Touching & Fondling

OTTAWA, ON – Canada’s government unanimously approved the creation of a new Federal Ministry of Tickling, Touching and Fondling in an effort to find a positive solution to ongoing revelations of inappropriate and unwanted sexual comments and actions. The new government department hopes to turn a negative into a [...]

Curling Surpasses Hockey To Become Whitest Sport In The World

WINNIPEG, MB – The Curling Collective of Canada is celebrating a major victory with the announcement their sport has surpassed hockey for the first time to become the whitest sport on the planet. For decades, curling was as white as winter but it finally took the moderate colorization of hockey to allow it to take [...]

Trudeau Announces Support & Severance Plan For Local Weed Dealers

OTTAWA, ON –  Low level drug dealers feeling the squeeze from the upcoming legalization of cannabis received some welcome news from the federal government. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced the government’s plan to help all dealers affected by the July 1, 2018 changes with a severance package to those [...]