Hockey dad gets banned from Foot Locker for abuse of officials

Hockey Fan Kicked Out Of Foot Locker For Abusing Referees

WINNIPEG, MB – 

A Portage la Prairie hockey dad was planning on picking up a pair of shoes at the mall during a break in a weekend tournament but he left with a misconduct and an ejection.

Steve Sapinski, entered the Foot Locker in Polo Park searching for a new pair of running shoes when he found trouble.  Within seconds of looking around the store he found a display of New Balance shoes at “buy one pair, get the second at 50% off.”  Sapinski made a move for the discount section when another male shopper stepped in his way.

*Investigation Reveals “buy one, get one 50% off” Sales Just a 25% Discount.*

“This goof comes out of the track suit section and shoots me an elbow then proceeds to interfere with my drive to the shoes,” Sapinski recalled.  “It was a blatant infraction.  It was black and white elbowing and interference.  Everyone in store could see it!”

The irate Sapinski gave the perpetrator a shove and glared at a store employee wearing a referee-styled shirt.

“There was no whistle and he didn’t have his arm up,” Sapinski said.  “He was looking right at me.  He had the nerve to tell me to be careful and stop pushing. That’s when I lost it!”

Sapinski was in an agitated state from watching his son play hockey all weekend and from having to go to the mall on a Saturday when his frustration boiled over.

He screamed in the employee’s face, shoved him, and then starting yelling abuse at the other employees wearing ref uniforms.

“It was worse than three blind mice out there,” Sapinski shared.  “That place has refs every three feet and they still can’t get a friggin call right.  That guy clearly blocked me from getting the shoes I wanted.  He gets the discount and I end up in the box.  How’s that fair?”

Store employees surrounded Sapinski until mall security guards arrived to escort him out of the store into the arms of police who took him into custody.

“I told them to check their cell phones ’cause they have a bunch of missed calls.  Then I said I thought only horses slept standing up,” Sapinski said.

While being physically removed from the store Sapinski was heard screaming, “You better be careful because you’re probably pregnant after missing three periods.”  As he exited the store he fired one last barb.  “Why don’t you get off your knees, you’re blowing the game.”

The Portage man is now facing charges of aggravated assault and a season long suspension from Foot Locker and the Polo Park Mall.  He waved his right to an in-person hearing and is now looking for shoes in Portage la Prairie.

“That’s the last time I shop at a store with a bunch of refs,” Sapinski offered.  “I’ll stay in Portage where shoes sales people don’t dress like blind zebras.”

 

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read the full disclaimer, explanation and links to official legal documents explaining the fictional, satirical and ridiculous truth of this story and website.  It will basically tell you what you should have already figured out on your own.  This is made up.  It is not real.  Sure, Foot Locker, Polo Park Mall, stupid hockey dads and employees in ref shirts are real but this story is so beyond stupid it could not be real.  Don’t be one of those people who call funny fiction “fake news”.  This is so obviously dumb no reasonable person would believe it to be news.  Rational people can identify satire 19 times out of 20.  The other time they roll their eyes and stop reading because they don’t find it funny.  Please click and share responsibly.

Photo Credit – Erin Nekervis

 

 

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Shoppers who can't do the math upset with buy one get one 50% sales

Shoppers Want “Buy One, Get One 50% Off” Sales Banned – Investigation Reveals It’s Just A 25% Discount

WINNIPEG, MB –

Calls from upset shoppers clogged the CIPP-TV news tip line on Black Friday with complaints about “Buy one, get one 50% off” sales found at most major malls and retailers.

Portager, Lisa Mojelsky, uncovered the truth behind the recent retail-marketing ploy used to attract holiday bargain hunters.

“I saw the sales sign, so I went in to buy some shoes,” Lisa Mojelsky told CIPP-TV investigative reporters.  “It wasn’t until after I paid and got my receipt that I realized I had been taken.”

Mojelsky eventually noticed the items she purchased had a combined discount of only 25%.

“I knew I wouldn’t be getting 50% off my whole bill but I didn’t know it was going to be as low as 25% off,” Mojelsky said.  “25% off isn’t that great of a sale.  If people knew it was that low I bet they wouldn’t shop there.”

The practise of having sales that promise to discount prices only after another item has been purchased at regular price has been utilized by stores for a few years to lure unsuspecting shoppers.

Retailers maintain there is nothing illegal or misleading about the practice since the terms are clearly stated.  Shoppers like Mojelsky disagree and are demanding something be done about this type of sale.

“I’m not that great at math and a lot of people can’t do complicated math like that in their heads,” Mojelsky said of the calculations needed to determine the actual discount.  “I mean, they expect us to be able to do percentages and fractions in our heads.  It’s not like everyone carries a calculator with them,” Mojelsky said holding a smart phone.

“If a sign says I get 50% off that’s what I should get, I can’t be expected to do advanced math in a shopping mall.”

Representatives the mall insist they are not trying to mislead the public or take advantage of their limited math abilities and tenuous grasp of reality.  They expressed a prevailing sense of frustration over the public outcry and the general lack of intelligence among their patrons.

CIPP-TV polled fifty shoppers on Black Friday and found that only three were able to calculate the total actual discount of a “buy one, get 50% off (the second item)” sale.

“They can’t expect us to think on our own like that,” Mojelsky said.  “The government needs to help protect consumers and tax payers by doing the thinking for us and putting in regulations against “buy one get one 50% off sales.  They should be against the law.”

Neither level of government bothered to call us back on the issue as they were busy doing their Christmas shopping.

Notice to reader/disclaimer – click here to read more about the reality of this story and website being completely fictional and satire ridden.  We do not want to you to believe for a second that shoppers could be easily be taken advantage of or confused or duped by basic math.  Math is well taught in school and many Canadians are good at math.  Except accountants.  They are not good at math.  They are generally evil and not good at anything.  Except they like beans.  That is why they fart a lot.  Accountants are smelly.

Photo Credit -Zoetnet