Stories

Florida Georgia Line & Nickelback Announce Concert To Prove They Aren’t The Same Band

Florida Georgia Line and Nickelback try and prove they are not the same band

Portage la Prairie, MB – The Glesby Centre in Portage la Prairie will host the myth busting concert of the century as country superstars, Florida Georgia Line and rock sensations, Nickelback set the record straight. Despite being mega-stars in different genres, the bands have been dogged by rumours and [...]

Poll Reveals Millennials Not Aware Of Time Change & Doubt The Existence Of Daylight Saving Time

Millennials unaware of time change due to dependence on smart phones

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – A recent C.I.P.P. – TV poll indicates most people under 35 were not aware a change to Daylight Saving Time occurred this weekend. “The poll we conducted shows 85% of millennials did not realize a change in time happened this weekend,” C.I.P.P.-TV head researcher Robin Harrisburg [...]

Portage la Prairie Dumps Min. Wage For New Maximum Wage Of $16/Hour

Portage la Prairie gets rid of Minimum wage and replaces with maximum wage of $16/hour

Portage la Prairie, MB – Local low wages hold the key to financial prosperity. A local economic advocate, Kent Dueck, is looking to turn a perceived weakness into Portage la Prairie’s biggest asset. Dueck spotted an opportunity with Portage’s long history of household incomes lower than the national [...]

City Of Portage Sells City Hall Bell To Bring Taco Bell To Town

Portage la Prairie City Hall bell sold to Taco Bell restuarant

Portage la Prairie, MB – Portagers will soon have their bell rung by a Mexican, fast-food icon three times a day. Along with opening a long-awaited franchise, Taco Bell will revive interest and excitement in our city’s historic bell. Portage lost a special part of its character when the new, virtually silent [...]

Portage la Prairie Must Chop Down Trees To Keep Its Name

Portage la Prairie, MB – The axe is about to fall on a big decision at City Hall. The City of Portage la Prairie must choose between chopping down trees or having to drop the reference to “prairie” in its name. The Canadian Council For The Enforcement Of Accurate Place Names, a fresh initiative of the [...]

Town Replaces Halloween With “Fall Celebration Of Political Correctness & Health”

Portage becomes a leader in political correctness by banning Halloween

Portage la Prairie, MB – A progressive prairie town in the middle of Canada is becoming a world leader in social advancement and political correctness by not just banning Halloween, but replacing it altogether. Portage la Prairie is ridding itself of the plague of costume cultural appropriation, youth [...]

Patrik Laine’s Cousin Blames Slow Start On Beard Loss & Mennonite Shunning

Mennonite shunning affects Patrik Laine's scoring

WINNIPEG – Last year, Winnipeg Jets sniper, Patrik Laine rocked the full Menno beard and filled the net across the NHL but has faced a sluggish start since shaving in the off-season. Laine’s cousin, Kimmo Laine told CIPP – TV in an email statement the loss of Patrik’s beard has caused a riff with his Mennonite [...]

Portage Makes History Electing First Imaginary Candidate, Ryan Coke, As Mayor

Ryan Coke becomes Portage la Prairie's first imaginary mayor in stunning landslide

PORTAGE la PRAIRIE – Portage is getting drunk on Ryan Coke and celebrating its first imaginary Mayor. The City of Portage la Prairie becomes the first municipality in Canada to elect a fictional character as mayor. After leveraging his substantial fictional media empire, including Portage’s imaginary and [...]

Trudeau To Celebrate Marijuana Legalization By Taking A Rip From St. Claude’s Giant Pipe Oct. 17

St. Claude, MB – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is kicking off the legalization of marijuana in a big way. Trudeau is opting to celebrate in St. Claude Manitoba rather than Ottawa with a special afternoon ceremony at 4:20pm local time. “There is no more fitting place to mark this historic moment,” Prime Minister [...]

Farmers Upset Festival Rock Act “Whole Lotta Angus” Was AC/DC Tribute & Not A Cattle Show

Portage la Prairie, MB – It was hard to tell who was more surprised, the band or the audience. The Portage Potato Festival, headline act, “Whole Lotta Angus”, hit the stage to a crowd full of John Deere hats, denim jeans and over sized belt buckles screaming, “Where’s the beef?” Heavily promoted in the [...]

CIPPTV Channel 116

Portage la Prairie's Fictional Satire Station