Dawn of The Day – Local pastors Rick and Anita Siemens convinced their followers to donate money to buy a one-hour time block each day on our TV station.
We love it because it brings in easy money and fills an hour of Canadian content without us lifting a finger.
Rick and Anita will fill their time with extended interviews with professional guest speakers, authors promoting their latest books and other like-minded Christians. There will be a healthy dose of prosperity gospel and repeated pleas for donations to keep the program on the air.
Lunch With Sass & Sweeney is an hour midday break to reflect on the stories and events going on in the region. To take our CRTC Canadian content commitment over the top we will fill an hour of programming with re-hashed news stories from the night before broken up with long, tedious interview segments hosted by the “C” team of the newsroom, Tom Sweeney and Betsy Sass.
Lunch With Sass & Sweeney will feature the MBN call-in feature “Line 451” to hear from viewers wanting to comment on what they’ve seen. Line 451 promises to be a fantastic outlet for the inebriated and mentally unstable.
The Manitoba Broadcast Network (MBN) News@ 6 and News@ 11 brings together live Skype hits from around the town and region each night at 6pm and 11pm.
We don’t have the time or resources to cover much more than press releases, press conferences, ribbon-cuttings and accident scenes but we promise to bring you the best of those.
No investigative journalism here. If it bleeds, it leads.
We also will shy away from anything too controversial or any anti-business topic that could upset our sponsors. Speaking of sponsors, there will be many sponsored features and we will put a logo on almost everything. We have to make something off the huge commitment we made to the CRTC to do local news.
Most of our news hours will only have 5-6 minutes of local news the rest will be filled with drawn-out weather segments, entertainment news that will mostly stuff we pull of the satellite and sports that will be mainly national highlights with local scores put up on screen as we go to commercial break. Twice a year we will put some extra effort into some lifestyle piece that will win an award and make the CRTC glad they gave us a broadcast license.
PP After Dark – local host BJ Harrisburg tours the regions socials, bingos, fairs and goings on producing “live to tape” segments to air during the late night movie. Since it is after midnight, and we don’t have many rules to follow, it will be filled with endless sponsor plugs, inappropriate product placement and repetitive promotion of upcoming events. We won’t necessarily go to the most popular, relevant or exciting events but we will make the most out of the events that pay us to show up. Host BJ Harrisburg is a part-time DJ, guitarist in several local bands and possibly has substance abuse issues. The initials BJ are a mystery, as he will not disclose what they stand for. We can confirm they do not stand for Bradly James, Barry John or Buddy Joe. There are rumours the initialized nickname could be in reference to a sexual act.
PP After School is a two-hour extravaganza every weekday on CIPPTV. Hosted by Chuck “Chuckles” Plenty the kind of creepy clown armed with one camera and one microphone, Kids PP Club will engage kids with vaguely disguised advertisements, products and services from our advertisers packaged with low-end graphics. Chuckles Plenty will do live to tape cut-ins during family friendly programs between 4pm and 6pm that will entertain and in vigor children 5-11 and be mocked and ridiculed by kids 12-16. Grandparents will think Chuckles is great because they “just love” the old shows we will be running during that time block. To be honest this is just another CRTC commitment to local kids programming that we have leveraged into a lucrative promotion. There won’t be any substance just a weird host filling two minutes a half-hour with blabbering goofiness.
Pow WOW! First Nations show: Like “The Dirt”, Pow WOW will provide a level of token coverage to satisfy CRTC commitments and provide a poorly funded, marginally produced outlet for stories about First Nation’s people. Occasionally we will do a story of merit and significance that will strike a chord and provide us with accolades and awards we can then show to the CRTC at license renewal time. Mostly boring, occasionally heart-warming, rarely controversial Pow WOW promises to fill Canadian content time each week. Hosted by Marissa Moosetail.
The Dirt Farm Show: The low down from down on the farm. Profiling local farmers, examining local farm life, issues and challenges. This is tokenism at its best. This show will help satisfy our CRTC license by offering cheaply produced ill-researched, glib stories about farming, rural life and agribusiness. The focus will be mildly interesting stories tied loosely to our advertisers so people will buy their products. The Dirt promises to be a win, win, win for the station, the CRTC and its advertisers. The ratings will suck but that will not matter because it is Canadian content. Hosted by Gerry Atrick.