Rob Lowe Shaken By Wrestling Sasquatch Encounter In Portage

Long Plain First Nation, MB –

The truth is out there, at Long Plain First Nation and Rob Lowe experienced it first hand.

While shooting upcoming episodes of his new reality show, The Lowe Files, Rob Lowe came to Manitoba Canada to document the mysterious Big Foot at Long Plain.

Several months ago Lowe encountered the great wood ape in the Ozark Mountains while producing the new show with his two sons.  Shortly after, he was  contacted by Sasquatch enthusiasts about the Long Plain Sasquatch and its unique gift.

“I can’t believe we had never heard of it before,” Lowe said on location at the Keeshkeemaquah Conference and Gaming Centre.  “It was the most impressive and terrifying experience I’ve had on this show so far.”

The Lowe Files explore mysteries and paranormal phenomenon and will air Sundays this fall on CIPP-TV.

“What amazed me the most was how everyone around here is so nonchalant about the whole thing,” Lowe said.  “To have a trained wrestling Sasquatch like this is out of this world.”

The wrestling Sasquatch shows up for special events and Rob Lowe was added to the latest card to combat the elusive beast.

“You know when you see it all the time you just take it for granted I guess,” regular bingo fan Terryn Anderson offered.  “The first time I saw it I was like, whoa look at that!  But now I don’t get that excited.  He uses the same moves all the time.”

“We’ve known for a long time they like to wrestle,” promoter Todd Smoke explained.  “The first match we had he just walked out of the bush.  Everyone was scared at first but we realized right away he just likes wrestling.  If you put WWE on he’ll show up too.”

Lowe’s production crew collected some hair and DNA samples to compare it to what they gathered off the wood ape of the Ozarks.

The First Nation proudly displays a stuffed big foot in the lobby of the gaming and conference centre but sometimes hides it behind boxes or protective veil.  Bingo players for years have looked at for good luck.  Poker players sometimes consult it for advice.

“We came for the Big Foot but we heard so many crazy stories about this area we will be coming back to do more episodes.  I also want to come back because I was on a real hot streak at bingo.  I’ve never been so lucky.  Must be the Big Foot.”

Notice to readers/disclaimer about the fictional, satirical and nonsensical nature of this story, website and imaginary TV station.

Photo:  Brian Teutsch – https://www.flickr.com/photos/brianteutsch/

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News Anchor Feels Superior to Production Crew

Portage la Prairie, MB –

CIPP-TV Channel 116 has a morale problem.  MBN News anchor, Jack Hoffman(click here to read his profile), has alienated himself from the production crew by refusing to hang out with anyone other than station executives and other anchors.

A 30-year veteran, most recently from the prestigious market of Truro, Nova Scotia, has been out on the town with station owner, Ryan Coke and his wife Wonnita, Sales Manager, Robin Banks and Sports Director Marshall Law but has rebuffed overtures from the technical team to go out for a brewsky.

Hoffman decline to comment on the allegations but he did say in passing that he didn’t move to Portage la Prairie to hang out with a bunch of former French-fry factory workers.

Initial excitement and anticipation among staff members about the launch of the new station has turned to backstabbing and gossip.  Production team members vow to get back at Hoffman passive aggressively, by causing embarrassing errors on the live newscasts.

Owner, Ryan Coke, responded to the retaliation threats.  “I really don’t care what they do.  If they can’t work it out and we can’t have business as usual then f#@% them,” Coke said.  “Nobody will see it cause the ratings for our news cast will absolutely suck.  We’re only doing news to make the CRTC happy.”

Since this website is administered by those aligned with the production crew, it will provide further stories and updates that will report on what an a$$hole Jack Hoffman is.

 

Photo: John Benson: https://www.flickr.com/photos/j_benson/

Disclaimer

Major Co-Production: “Cosby, Bachelor In Paradise” Shooting at Delta Beach.

Portage la Prairie, MB – 

CIPP-TV has landed it’s first major co-production by giving new life to two troubled television franchises.  Due to recent legal troubles, former sit-com icon, Bill Cosby’s latest project, The New Cosby Show, will not be able to be produced in the U.S.A. and is on permanent hiatus.  The Bachelor in Paradise is also looking for a new home after it’s most recent sex scandal shelved production in Mexico.

Both production companies decided to join forces for a new reality show that combines Bill Cosby uncensored, with reality TV’s most scandalous franchise The Bachelor in Paradise.  Cosby will be type-cast as the eldest member of the cast looking for love, marriage and random, drunken hook-ups in the revamped show.

Cosby will abandon his scripted and stand-up persona for a fresh, honest, slimy and at times creepy elderly sexual predator role to better fit the Bachelor cast.  Producers plan on leveraging Cosby’s notoriety and the Bachelor in Paradise’s sleazy reputation for maximum promotional value.

The new series will begin principal photography in mid July at a cabin-resort on Delta Beach just north of Portage la Prairie.  The long hot days of the Manitoba summer and stunning scenery will combine for some steamy episodes to be ready to air in the fall of 2017 on CIPP-TV and Fox.

Provincial and federal tax credits will contribute more than fifty per cent of the production fund and allow high-end creative jobs to come back to Canada from the United States and Mexico.

Disclaimer.

A Reason To Get Out Of Bed: PP In The Morning

PP In The Morning – Hosts Sarah Bellum and Oliver Sutton fill three hours a day with re-plays of last nights, news, weather and sports broken up with idle banter, tedious cooking segments, songs with live local bands and prolonged interviews with local people.

The MBN live truck will bring viewers a glimpse into how little is going on at various locations around the region.  PP In The Morning will also use the call-in feature called “Line 451” to allow viewers to have a say on the issues of the day. All in all a very long three hours, but hey, we need to fill our Canadian content somehow.

Click here to read all about Sarah Bellum and Oliver Sutton:  Profile.

Saturday Night Videos Will Rock Your Weekend.

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Vivica Rhianna Meeches will put sizzle in your Saturdays


Saturday Night Videos
– the weekly video show with a drop of Can-con and a boat load of top 40 hits hosted by the vivacious Vivica Rhianna Meeches.  Videos, profiles of local artists, plugging of upcoming concerts and events all sponsored by sister radio station CIPN-FM, playing your perfect music mix.

Click here for Vivica’s complete profile: Vivica Rhianna Meeches profile.

Helen Wait Asks: “Can I Get A Business?”

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Hosted by Helen Wait, Can I Get A Business will attack the world of commerce with religious zeal.


Can I Get a Business?
– weekly look at the regions most interesting and innovative businesses.  Can you say holy infomercial Batman?

Local businesses will line-up to pay to be profiled on this show.  Chamber of Commerce Veteran and Conservative Party fundraiser Helen Waite will host the regions biggest and best business program.  The best part is this counts as Canadian content and we are making money off it.

Click here to read Helen Wait’s profile.

Complete Local Hockey Coverage – Get The Puck Out!

Get the Puck Out – Sports Director, Marshall Law, will go deep on the local hockey scene.  Stories on the up and coming prospects, following the careers of local pros and reminiscing with retired vets will pack a half-hour every weekend.

CIPP will pump a ton of money and resources into this show because the owner, Ryan Coke, loves hockey and we have a shot at syndicating the show to a national broadcaster because hockey rules in Canada.

Click here to read Marshall Laws profile.