Portage la Prairie, MB –
A convoy of Smokey and The Bandit proportions rolled through Portage la Prairie, heading to Ottawa promoting a strong, albeit mixed message.
Many of the truckers proudly displayed flags and signs promoting “(sex with) Trudeau”. It is assumed they were referring to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau whose good looks and animal magnetism have been well documented.
After speaking to many of the truckers and their supporters it was unclear if they were desiring to have sex with Trudeau or if they were encouraging others to have sex with him.
“We got a convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?” Jimmy Johnson shouted from his eighteen-wheeler parked on the side of the Trans-Canada Highway. “Our freedom is on the line. We’re taking Ottawa back and making Canada great again!”
Johnson indicated he was inspired to join the convoy of predominately white men because he was afraid of getting a needle and had sexually laced opinions of Justin Trudeau, while others in the group expressed a different perspective.
“This isn’t about needles and vaccines,” Melissa Stevens shouted. “It’s about standing up against fear! We’re afraid of what we don’t know about the vaccine! We’re afraid of the hidden agenda and that the Conservatives will never become government so we’re doing something about it.” Stevens went on to express her own keen interest in sex with Trudeau despite standing next to her husband and four home-schooled children.
Many of the supporting spectators brought young children who were encouraged to promote sex with Trudeau as a means of defeating fear and making Canada more strong and free.
“There is widespread concern over the promotion of sex with one person and how it could add to the already high levels of sexual frustration among truck drivers,” Trucking Psychologist Brenda Bobcat shared. “Sadly, most individuals promoting sex with the Prime Minister will be disappointed so we are counselling them on how to adjust their expectations.”
Sex counselling hotlines have been set up and experts fear a wave of protesters needing support in the coming days and weeks. Once the moving traffic jam reaches Ottawa it will have to be seen if the Prime Minister will entertain having sex with any of them or whether he will simply express appreciation for their affection.
Notice to readers: – this is satire. Click here to read full disclaimer if you do not grasp the fictional nature of this story and website. If you thought for a moment this could be true then that might be funnier than the story itself. This website does not endorse the use of trucks or truckers in any negative manner and certainly holds no opinion on the validity of having a desire to have sex with the Prime Minister of Canada or any other world leader. While this may be a legitimate stance we encourage all those with such an urge to make sure they seek and obtain consent before engaging in coitus with the Prime Minister, any government official or anyone other than yourself for that matter. Please eat and drink responsibly and to call a friend if you are feeling down. We are not responsible for your perception of reality or lapses in judgement resulting from any sexual frustration you may be experiencing.