PORTAGE la PRAIRIE, MB – Corey Martens has gone to church all his life but never took the time to read the entire Bible, until lately.

“I think, like most people who go to church, we might read a verse or at most a chapter here and there, “ Martens said.  “But who reads the whole thing?”

With a sudden abundance of time on his hands, Martens decided to crack open the sleek, leather New Living Translation Bible his grandmother bought for him twenty years ago.

“I thought I knew the basic Bible story from Adam and Eve to Jesus and his disciples, and thought most of it would be just religious stuff, like what you hear in church.”

Martens soon discovered, to his amazement, the Bible to be filled with many things he wasn’t expecting.

“It’s like, it’s not really one book at all,” Martens shared.  “There is some really, really weird shit in there hardly anyone talks about.  The first part has some religious mumbo jumbo but most of it is like a long series of epic war novels.  There is a lot of violence and then sudden spurts of sexuality nobody sees coming.”

Going to church every Sunday for thirty years had not prepared Martens for what he saw on the pages of his Bible.

“There are like a couple dozen parts of the Bible the pastor will preach about but the rest was a shocker,” Martens explained.  “The body count is pretty high in the first half and then slows down but most of the characters are a little shady and there is quite a few promiscuous people and sex workers throughout.”

What Martens thought was primarily a religious manual turned out to be quite different and even contained a “surprise” ending.

“I knew the Bible started with Adam and Eve in the garden but I always thought it ended with Jesus being killed and then coming back to life.  I had no idea there were all these wild stories and letters to people with Sci-Fi sounding names.”

Revelations, the final book of the Bible, shocked Martens.  “I’d obviously heard of it but I just thought it was about the end of the world.  I was not expecting this trippy, bizarre, science fiction-like experience.  I still have no idea what that part was about, but it was freaky.”

After completing the entire book Martens was most surprised by the book’s religious content.  

“Jesus is like the hero who comes in about two-thirds the way through and has to battle his church and government.  He seems to spend most of his time telling the religious people they are wrong and then chills with mostly low-life regular people.  He heals a bunch of people, chases away demons but other than that he doesn’t come act very religious.  He seemed a lot different than what I learned in church.”

CIPP-TV asked Marten’s pastor to comment on his parishioners new found knowledge but he declined, siting concerns more people may read it on their own.

“I just didn’t want the Bible to be another one of those best-sellers I own but have never read.”

Photo credit – Rich Moore

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