Chronically Unemployed Man Finds Job At Father’s Business After Years Long Search

Liam Posner is pumped to find job after sending out several resumes and having little to no qualifications.


He could be the poster child for perseverance.  He is the epitome of endurance and a testament to tenacity.  Liam Posner, the 32-year-old former full-time student of Winnipeg and Portage la Prairie is cellying hard after landing his first job.

“I’m still a little numb to be honest,” Liam Posner shouted over the pounding music of his celebration party.  “It’s hard to believe I finally have a job.”

The party was hosted and paid for by Posner’s parents Edith and Aaron.  “I just bought this bar.  What better way to break it in than to honour my son’s accomplishments,” Aaron Posner offered.

Liam just completed a combined nine years of University, College, Seminary and Technical School without the burden of a certificate, diploma or degree.

“I still don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up,” Posner said.  “But at least I can do this for a while so I don’t have to get as much money from mom and dad.”

Posner has been attending various post-secondary institutions in multiple cities, often simultaneously with the assistance of his parents and grand parents.

“The last nine years have been tough,” Posner explained.  “It’s not easy living on an allowance and having all your expenses paid.  I survived but I don’t think I could do that again.”

The elder Posner has owned numerous businesses in the past thirty years and some of them have been profitable.  He decided to buy a local bar out of bankruptcy and jumped at the chance to hire his son as General Manager, despite the fact Liam has no experience or education in the field of hospitality.

“I must have emailed out like six or eight resumes in the last 28 months and heard nothing back,” Posner shared.  “I was getting real down and thought I’d have to live in my parent’s condo in the city forever when I saw the text from my dad he needed a General Manager his new business.”

“As soon as I saw his text back I knew he was the right person for the job,” Aaron Posner said.  “Sure there were dozens of other applicants with tons of experience but I knew Liam was the perfect fit.”

Posner’s Bar & Hookah Lounge opens up late this month and Liam has big plans for the new watering hole.

“First of all, I’m going to hire some managers to take care of things so I don’t have to be locked in to working set hours.  I don’t like rigid workplaces and that is one of the things I talked to the owner about.  I need optimal freedom to pursue my other interests so I’m in the right state of mind to run this business.”

The senior Posner plans to avoid burdening the new bar with the demands of profitability by propping it up indefinitely with family money and funds channeled from his few remaining liquid companies.

“Aaron needs to get some experience to move on to bigger and better things,” Aaron Posner said.  “In this situation he can build a resume without having the pressure of performing or showing up all the time.”

Posner’s companies have a strong track record of low morale, under performing financials and ridiculously high turnover.  Aaron Posner started his crumbling empire with a small loan of $10 million from his father.  Posner’s current estimated net worth is in the hundreds of thousands, debt notwithstanding. 

Photo Credit- Lisa Brewster

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here to read a full disclaimer and explanation along with finding links to incredibly interesting legal information.  Please do not eat laundry detergent of any kind because it is bad for you.  Please do not drink hydrogen peroxide as it too is bad for you.  Both your make you very sick and could possibly kill you.  Still we know some people will insist on participating in this risky behaviour but CIPP-TV support nothing but abstaining from ingesting these products.  This story and website are fictional and satirical in nature and origin.  They are not real.  Please read and share accordingly and responsibly.