Secret Report Reveals Local Recreation Complex Sinks Into Swamp

Portage la Prairie, MB – Top secret documents leaked to a local media outlet exposes the truth about the Stride Place sinking and how the government worked to cover it up.

Evidence has emerged indicating the palatial recreation complex has completely sunk no less than 4 times in the past 5 years.  To hide this truth all levels of government conspired to replace the sunken centre with an exact replica not once, but 4 times.

At the cost of well over $100 million the new centres were built in modules at Southport then shipped to an undisclosed location in the sandhills south of the Gainsborough Hall for assembly and then shipped in the cover of night to replace the previous PCU Centre once it sunk out of sight.

With the fifth version of the centre sitting atop the previous four officials are confident the complex will not suffer any further sinking.

“We’ve pretty much hit bedrock now.  I can’t imagine us having to build another one but if we have to we will,” an anonymous source said.

For years people opposed to the building of the PCU Centre on the Island next to beautiful Island Park have spread rumours about the centre sinking.  Today those voices feel vindicated.  “They’re throwing good money after bad.  You should never build anything nice in this town.  I can’t believe they did this, it’s such a waste,” Bertha Funk said.

No one from the government would speak on the record but sources requesting anonymity told CIPP-TV “They were determined to make that place work and wouldn’t rule out building another if it sunk for the fifth time.”

These developments will not affect sticks and pucks, public skating or upcoming Terrier games.

Photo of the actual Secret Report.
Photo of the actual Secret Report.




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