PHILADELPHIA, PA –
The beard is weird, but it has gained notoriety and popularity as the Finnisher, Patrik Laine piles up the goals this NHL season. During the current Winnipeg Jets road trip, Laine decided to strap on some rollerblades and visit the Amish farms around Lancaster Pennsylvania after being invited by local elders.
“We see Patrik as a role model for our young men,” Elder Isaac Stoltzfus said. “Normally an Amish man would not grow a beard like Mr. Laine’s until after being wed, but we approve of Patrik’s beard.”
The Amish of Lancaster Pennsylvania are grateful Laine has made the Amish beard style trendy, relevant and more acceptable in the secular culture.
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“We invited him to come spend the day with us and were excited he agreed,” Stoltzfus explained. “We have several young women we’d like to introduce to Patrik as a possible wife for him.”
While in the Lancaster area, Laine strapped on the rollerblades and enjoyed the countryside to the delight of his Amish admirers.
“I’m not going to lie,” Laine said. “I love all the beards and the Amish ladies are very cute but I don’t think I can accept their offer to join them. I don’t mind the horse and buggy stuff but they don’t have Wi-Fi or electricity so I can’t play video games. That is pretty much a deal breaker for me.”
Amish elders keen on seeing Laine join their flock said they would consider using electricity and the internet if it meant the Finnish hockey superstar would spend his summers among them.
“If Patrik found an agreeable Amish woman to be his wife we could see about adding electricity and Wi-Fi so he could join us,” Stoltzfus said. “We don’t normally add worldly things like that to our farms but Patrik is special so we might consider it.”
Nikolaj Ehlers, Laine’s best friend on the Winnipeg Jets, was also invited to tag along. Amish elders feel he has potential for Amish membership if he would embrace his beard more enthusiastically.
“Nik has a lot of appeal among the Amish ladies as well. He might catch up to Patrik if he would let his beard grow longer,” Stoltzfus said.
Ehlers and Laine both enjoyed their time among their growing base of Amish fans and promised to visit them again. Neither would comment on whether they found a suitable partner among the group of Amish women they met.
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