PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB –
Hit local imaginary TV station C.I.P.P. is celebrating a dubious holiday with a special programming schedule in honour of International Skeptics Day Saturday January 13.
“Based on the fact we are a fictional and questionable television station that exists only on the internet we felt this was an important holiday to celebrate,” station founder, owner and general manager Ryan Coke said in an email he sent to the promotions department.
“We are naturally quite skeptical of our own existence as a media outlet so we will be airing an imaginary marathon of shows that cater to the skeptic in all of us,” Coke said.
Saturday’s schedule will include a marathon of Unsolved Mysteries, The Lowe Files with Rob Lowe, Penn & Teller: Fool Us ending with a local show on the conspiracy to dominate the world from Portage la Prairie called, The Republic(click here for trailer) if you can believe any of it.
The day will kick off at 6am local standard time on Channel 116 on your UHF/internet dial. If you don’t currently subscribe to C.I.P.P. TV, contact your local cable provider and ask for it. If you actually do this, please record the conversation and share it with us, we’d love to hear what they tell you.
“C.I.P.P. TV Channel 116 is all about skepticism and questioning everything,” Coke shared. “We feel it is part of our brand, although we are quite trivial at the same time. Skepticism is essentially the opposite of trivialism, the notion that everything is true and possible so I’m starting to doubt this station’s philosophy and guiding principles along with my own relevance.”
Despite the discovery of a confused company mandate, C.I.P.P. TV Channel 116 will celebrate International Skeptics Day with special promotion and programming including fun video interviews where C.I.P.P. TV staff share their biggest doubts and questions.
In between programs you’ll hear News@6 Anchors Iona Stonehouse and Jack Hoffman doubt their show will ever have improved ratings, PP After School Host Chuckles Plenty shares how he questions the validity of child labour laws, Traffic Manager, Tara Cherry wonders aloud about the merits of pet marriage, Chief Engineer, Pierce Cox questions whether or not his skills as a broadcast engineer are being wasted getting porn-related viruses off station computers, Promotions Manager, Tess Teckle questions why the station would want to promote such a potentially negative holiday and Saturday Night Videos Host, Rhianna Meeches voices her fear that the age of the music video might be over and how her show may ultimately be cancelled.
“The critics and skeptics out there have been quite uncomplimentary of the TV station so far,” Coke said. “We hope to get them on side by pandering to them by really playing up International Skeptics Day. It just might become an annual thing.”
Notice to readers/disclaimer – if you are doubting the authenticity of International Skeptics Day, this story and website then you should click here to read the full disclaimer and accompanying links to the full legal explanation. We doubt many of you will actually do that but that is what makes us skeptical. This story, website and entire endeavour is quite skeptical but that is about all that is actually true. The remainder is purely fictional, made up and not real. This story and website are intended for the amusement of its creators and a few loyal readers or those who stumbled on this via some kind of social media link from someone who thought it was true because they could only read the headline and didn’t have the attention span to read the whole article or even the first couple of paragraphs. This is obviously not the case with you. You likely read most of the story and this whole nonsensical, lengthy notice of disclosure and admission of stupidity. Good on you for sticking with it. Either you are entirely bored or we are remarkable creators. CIPP-TV is sorry for your boredom.