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Portager Resolves To Eliminate “Fake Hoes” From Her Life In The New Year

New Years Resolution to get rid of all the fake hoes in her life Portage woman makes New Year's resolution to "get rid of all the fake hoes" in her life

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB – 

Rachel Paddock is cutting some dead weight and negative energy from life to start the New Year fresh.  Early in the morning and January 1st she tweeted and posted on Instagram that she was “getting rid of all them damn fake hoes in my life”.

One of the boldest, and most life-altering resolutions of the New Year, blew up on social media with friends, family and associates offering up encouragement and some criticism.  CIPP-TV caught up with Paddock to see how she is doing after making the ill-considered comment while being extremely drunk.

“Some them bitzes are hating on my insta-feed,” Paddock explained.  “Well they ain’t had to endure what I been enduring for the last year.”

After ending a long-term relationship of eight months earlier in the year, Paddock quickly ran into difficulty finding a suitable mate and blames it on some of her friends.

“Those fake hoes were always wheeling my bae so they’d always end up cheating on me,” Paddock shared.  “Even my baby’s daddy got tricked by them hoes.”

Many Portagers weighed in on the social media storm accusing Paddock of being a “fake hoe” herself.

“I ain’t no fake hoe,” Paddock fired back.  “I’m the real deal one hundred per cent.  Any man of mine knows I’m in it for him and I ain’t gonna wheel his bros.”

In the New Year, Paddock hopes to focus on self-improvement and gaining the internal strength and resolve to become the type of person who can secure a long-term, committed relationship.

“With no more fake hoes messing up my life I can finally be the person I always wanted to be,” Paddock said. “I’ve got issues but I need my bitzes to be positive so I can improve.”

Paddock received several comments taking aim at her use of the term hoe and its connection to prostitution.

“I ain’t promoting prostitution.  Everybody knows hoes and skanks don’t have nothing to do with prostitution.  I don’t know what they’re talking ‘bout,” Paddock said.

With eliminating the fake hoes from her life Paddock’s New Year’s resolutions also include regular exercise, reading more and watching less reality T.V.

“I want this year to be all about me and how much better I can make my life,” Paddock explained.  “By this time next year those fake hoes will look and me and be like, wow, look how amazing Rachel is now.  We shouldn’t have been such fake hoes to her.”

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click here for full disclaimer.  CIPP-TV and this story are imaginary, fictional and full of shit and satire.  Please read and share often but responsibly.

Photo credit: Melinda

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