Portage la Prairie, MB –
Portage la Prairie is set to be a guinea pig for the governments plan to test Sharia Law in Canada.
Selected because it has virtually no Muslim population and has an unusually high crime rate, Portage will be the litmus test to see how Sharia Law might work in other jurisdictions.
“It’s key that the population be unfamiliar with Sharia Law ahead of time,” project coordinator Joy Metcalfe said. “We’d like to see if this religious based system of law and order works on an irreligious group of people.”
With a population of primarily secular non-affiliated Christians and non-adherents, a tiny minority of other faith groups and Portage la Prairie is perfectly positioned for the experiment.
“When we approached the city with our idea they were hesitant at first,” Metcalfe said. “But once we showed them how countries with even partial Sharia Law had less crime, head shops, book stores and strip clubs they became quite interested.”
Portage has a long-standing crime problem that no one has been able to solve. Sharia Law’s record of accomplishment on reducing crime and many other social problems is welcome relief to the beleaguered community.
“We admit the plan might have some negative impacts when it comes to human rights and women’s issues,” Metcalfe said. “Women will likely lose the right to vote but our stats show that only about half of eligible voters bother to cast ballots anyway. If only half the population votes we might as well try something new.”
The experiment will start in early to mid 2018 and run for 4 years. Officials are eager to see the impact on crime stats and population growth along with any changes in the volume of social problems.
“This is truly an exciting project and it is an honour for Portage to be part of it.”
Notice to readers/disclaimer – click this link to read about the true nature of this story and website. It is blatantly fictional, nonsensical at times, satirical and occasionally funny. Consume at your own risk.