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61,000 Home Dishwashers To Be Converted Into Garbage & Pet Incinerators

dishwashers recalled can be converted into incinerators 61,000 recalled dishwashers can be converted to incinerate garbage and cremate small animals

Ottawa, ON – 

In the face of a recall on 61,000 dishwashers over fire risks, the leaders of the free world and those in charge of dishwashers have opted to take advantage of combustion potential.

Effective immediately all dishwashers affected will be converted into home incinerators for garbage household waste and small animals.

“This will reduce the pressure on landfills across the country,” spokesperson Cynthia Burns.  The dishwashers will also be able to handle animal and pet cremation offering people an economical and safe way to process dead pets.”

Cremation of pets is a growing trend as it is for humans.  Less land is available for burial and ashes can be sprinkled or stored in memory.

“The fiery dishwashers will be effective crematorium but we aren’t recommending they be used for human remains as the remains would have to be chopped into suitable sized pieces,” Boone explained.

With dishwashers costing only a few hundred dollars on average and incinerators priced well over two thousand, consumers are receiving great value on the conversion.

“This certainly is the deal of the year.  It’s good for the environment and will save municipalities millions in landfill costs,” Boone said.

The conversions will start in major cities next week and roll out across the country in coming weeks.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – click this link to read about the true nature of this story and website.  It is blatantly fictional, nonsensical at times, satirical and occasionally funny.  Consume at your own risk.

Photo Credit:  Matt Baume

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