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Local Man Wins Internet “Webby” Award For Clicking Over 1 Million Things

Gladstone, MB –

Internet novice George MacGregor of Gladstone Manitoba has done something his tech savvy kids and grandchildren have only dreamt off.

MacGregor is the only Manitoban to win a Webby Award in the history of the famous web award program.

At a recent ceremony in San Francisco, MacGregor won the 2017 Most Active Browser Award and is now “King of the Clicks”.

In the previous calendar year, MacGregor clicked on 400,000 display ads, 300,000 pop-up ads, and 750,000 random links and opened 150,000 spam emails, including their embedded links.  Once, in April, the man set a new internet world-record by having over 15,000 windows open on his computer before it crashed and his son had to come help get it re-booted.

“Dad loves the internet but he has no idea how it really works,” Steve MacGregor said.  “He’s naturally curious and thinks everything he reads is real so he just keeps clicking.  We had no idea there was an award for that but he’s pretty proud he won.”

George MacGregor admits he never heard of the Webby Awards before his nomination but is thrilled to receive the attention and major award.

“It was like the Academy Awards,” George MacGregor shared.  “Fancy ballroom, everyone dressed up I was like an adult movie star.”

The Gladstone man tips his hat to his son and grandkids for helping him get on-line.

“They got me a computer so I could get the weather anytime I wanted and the baseball scores,” MacGregor said.  “When I got started I didn’t know what the heck a mouse was let alone how to use it.  They told me not to be scared of clicking on things so I just kept doing that.”

While the cost to constantly rid his computer of viruses and malware has added up the hours of entertainment have been worth it.

“Dad is pretty much on it all day long,” his son explained.  “He yells at mom every few minutes when he finds something he thinks is interesting.”

“I never realized so many people around the world wanted to help enlarge my penis, find me a wife, send me free money,” MacGregor said.  “I have 20,000 Facebook friends who I didn’t even know two years ago.  A lot of them are very attractive young ladies to boot,” he added with a wink.

“It’s kind of funny to think he’s got an internet world-record and is a bit of web phenom now,” Steve MacGregor said.

MacGregor’s current Facebook photo shows him wearing a t-shirt with “Fear No Link” in bold letters on the front.

“I’m not afraid of nothing,” he said.  “If I want to click on something I just do it.  Life is too short to worry about viruses and stuff.  I don’t even really know what they do.  If my computer stops I just call my son and he gets it going.”

MacGregor plans on topping his click volume this year saying he is already tracking 60% ahead of his award-winning totals.

“There was an old bag from Kansas City who was nominated too.  I’m not going to let that old bitty beat me.”

MacGregor is still waiting for his $50 Tim Card to arrive in the mail along with his new R.V. and WestJet flight.

Notice to readers/disclaimer.  Click here to read about the fictional and satirical nature of this story and website.  

Photo: James Jones – https://www.flickr.com/photos/puggles/

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