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Portage Fair Mini-Donuts Oversized – Pose Choking Hazard – Must Be Reduced

Portage la Prairie, MB – 

While they might claim to be “mini”, the small-sized, deep-fried orbs covered in cinnamon sugar, are way to large to be legally called “mini-donuts.”

Auditors from the Donut Institute of North America paid vendors at the Portage Fair a visit after complaints that the little donuts were too large to be classified as mini.

DINA found the local donuts to be more than a quarter of inch too large and issued a warning and demand to rectify to the vendors.  All mini-donuts must comply with DINA standards by tomorrow or the vendors and the entire fair could be shut down.

“I like the mini-donuts this size,” fair goer Cheryl Anderson said.  “We didn’t choke eating them.  They practically melt in your mouth.”

While Anderson and her friends found no issue with the fair’s mini-donuts others became quite upset.

“There is no way in heck they should be calling them mini-donuts if they are too big,” Brian Collins said.  “As soon as I grabbed the first one I could tell they were oversized. It’s false advertising!”

Collins immediately contacted DINA via Twitter to file a complaint and launch a full investigation.

DINA investigators were flown out by helicopter from Winnipeg and had their report complete within hours.  Investigators had to initially get the vendors to place temporary “small” signs over the word “mini” on their booths.

“We have to react quickly,” DINA spokesperson Tina Rogers explained.  “The integrity of the mini-donut is at stake.  Violators must be identified and punished immediately.  What we found in Portage was alarming and if it continues we have the authority to shut the whole fair down, including the cattle shows.”

The mini-donuts and corn dogs will be monitored throughout the day to ensure compliance and the fair will remain open as long as vendors comply to the DINA standards.

 

Notice to readers/disclaimer about this story and site being satire/humour/funny/weird/odd and possibly disturbing.

Photo: Chris Breikess – https://www.flickr.com/photos/extra_chrisb/

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